Mending Broken Clavicles, Broken Spirits, and Working for Peaceful Change

As promised, today's post is about broken clavicles. Of course, there will be more to it than that.

Recently, it was announced that Road Cycling World Champion, Thor Hushovd - (excuse me, but doesn't that just sound wonderful?!) ... It was announced that Thor is putting off having the plates (and screws?) removed from his clavicle surgery; so that, he and Cervelo Test Team can show off the Rainbow Jersey a bit before the end of this year's Cycling Season.

"Good decision," I thought, "That will be great for him and the team. After all, I still have the plate and screws in from my clavicle surgery in 2006.... hmmmm."

Yes, Thor is like me in that we have both broken our clavicles. We both had accidents that resulted in the same injury. His accident was while training. My accident was while driving, and I got a broken wrist, too. He was out doing something he was supposed to do. I shouldn't have been driving that night because I was far too tired and upset. Same result, though, sorta ...

I was impressed that right after the accident, his first concern was for the little girl that he hit. He is a good man. There was no one else involved in my accident, thank God; so I remembered my pain and knew a little bit about how he must have reeled when it hit him. I think that is what's behind his statement, "First I tried to help her, but I soon realized that I was not able to and there was something wrong..." Oh yeah, something painfully wrong.

I was so concerned when I heard about Thor's broken clavicle, but then I thought about Lance recovering so quickly; and that, Thor had trained with Lance. I also thought that being younger and an elite cyclist, he would have the best of care and do his best to be in shape for the upcoming Classics Season. I had faith in him and continually sent him my best thoughts. I knew it would be painful and difficult, but that he's used to pain and difficulties. He's a very determined sort, so I was confident that he would endure and succeed. Little did any of us know how well he would do.

I wondered if he had one of those amazing little electric cooler things like I had that pumped ice cold water into a pack that was wrapped around the injured area. I have to say that these electric cooler thingies are one of the best inventions of all time, but I'm completely biased.

I pictured him in Physical Therapy and remembered my own Physical Therapy. He would have the best. I had the best, too.

In my life, I've had some wonderful coincidences, and being assigned to my Physical Therapist was one of them. His name is Jerzy, and he is a retired Professional Cyclist from Poland!

"Of all the Physical Therapists in all of the world," I would think to myself.

I started working with Jerzy as a result of injuries suffered during a rape. I was a mess. My back and knee had been severely injured, and my spirit was broken. That man, that Physical Therapist, Jerzy, did more for me than any Psychological Counselor ever did. In fact, the therapist and psychiatrist that I saw actually did more damage than good. Jerzy not only put me back together physically; he put me back together emotionally.

I would go in, and he would cause me great pain. After the pain, he would hook me up to the electric stimulation machine and pack my body in hot sand bags or ice packs or both. For twenty minutes or so, I would just lay alone and cry silently. My tears were a combination of tormented tears and grateful tears. The whole experience was a release that set me on my way three times a week for about ten months.

Jerzy would check on me while I was laying down, and we would continue to talk cycling. He was full of stories about riding in Communist Poland and his disappoints and thrills. He told me about a miraculous mountain crash he had where he went flying over the tree tops, landed, grabbed his unbroken bike, and finished the race in second place, I believe. He told of how he was rejected for the Olympic squad due to factors that he didn't think were fair. Through his cycling stories, I started to regain my hope and my humor.

Of course I would talk about Thor and try to convert him. He did take an interest and appreciated my enthusiasm.

We talked all things cycling, and I began to heal. We talked about our personal lives, and I began to heal. Jerzy worked his Physical Therapy magic, and I began to heal. I started riding my bike to appointments, and I continued to heal.

As far as my broken clavicle, the circumstances were so frustrating and ill-timed with only myself to blame that my recovery is still going on. It's one thing for the bone to finally mend. It's quite another to get over the guilt and anger for doing something stupid that could have and should have been avoided. Ah, the "coulda, woulda, shoulda" thing pops up, and I am reminded to that going forward is all that can be done. Still ...

It was Jerzy who put me back together as best as he could after I broke my clavicle, too. He was still at the hospital, and I returned asking for him. Sometimes, people are put in your life to help you in ways that you don't even know that you need help and certainly aren't expecting to get from them. These are the people that I have come to be very grateful for. Those serendipitous combinations that do seem as though there is a force greater than all of us is hard at work looking out for our well-being. This is a part of my childlike spirituality that I get grief for sometimes, but I have learned that there are more people in the world who appreciate these things. I have a few of these people in my life, now. I am grateful.

I wish I still knew where Jerzy is. He has left the hospital, and I have forgotten his last name. I thanked him continuously while he was treating me and wish I knew where he was because he was just that good. It's hard for me to let go of good people. It's hard for me to accept that someone wonderful can come into my life for a short period of time and then completely disappear. sigh.

So you see, when I heard that Thor had broken his clavicle it brought up a ton of memories; painful memories. We have all seen how he has healed on every level. Oh, to be an elite athlete with resources or simply have resources and a bit more determination and discipline. Still, Thor continues to inspire me, and it's never too late, right?

His spirit has been well restored besides his physical prowess. Through hard work and determination, he's accomplished quite a lot this year, huh. I just can't stop smiling when I think of Thor Hushovd, Road Cycling World Champion. If you only knew how absolutely thrilling and affirming it is for me here in the States; a Thor fan when so many are Lance or "other" fans.

I still have a long way to go to overcome my emotional and physical pains, but I have two hands, two feet, and a working brain; all is not lost. My spirit is battered as is my body, so little bit by little bit I will continue to struggle on. Besides, I've found that if I make up my mind to be happy about my life and focus on my dreams that things are better all around. It is so easy to get caught up in the difficult situations that are beyond my control. I must focus on what I can control and leave the rest to those magical forces that work so serendipitously in my life knowing that they work in the lives of those I love, too.

Broken bones like broken spirits do mend. At least this is what I will focus on. I can do no good unless I heal myself first, and I really want to do some good in this world; more good than I've already done.

Which leads me to the last bit of my post ....

I saw today that Norway has given the Nobel Peace Prize to Liu Xiaobo, a Chinese dissident who participated in the Tienanmen Square Protests in 1989 and wrote "Charter 08." He is a peaceful activist who was sentenced to eleven years in prison last year just before the release of "Charter 08." The link to the Yahoo News article is below:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/nobel_peace_prize

I can actually tie this event to Thor. You see in 2008, Thor was willing to boycott the Opening Ceremonies at the Beijing Olympics because of Human Rights issues. It turned out that he did not participate at all due to his health, but he did take a stand. I also appreciate that about him.

I am so proud of Norway for awarding this Peace Prize to Liu Xiaobo in the face of threats from China about future relations. Kudos to Norway for not giving in to being bullied by the Chinese Government. I have read one article about the Chinese Red Army being involved in Blood Diamond mines in Zimbabwe that was posted by a friend living in the USA who was born in Zimbabwe. Yesterday on "Charlie Rose", a man was talking about Iran's covert methods of getting around sanctions and China's potential involvement with Iranian businesses. With China holding so much of the USA debt and their increasing influence in all parts of the world, it is imperative that light is continually shed on their Human Rights abuses. Can't tell you how happy I am that Norway has awarded the Nobel Peace Prize to Liu Xiaobo, a worthy Chinese citizen who also inspires me to strengthen my spirit and work towards greater understanding through gradual, peaceful change. I hope the world will listen and take action as a result.

Norway does so many things that I am proud of, and this is just one more to add to the list. It makes me feel better about myself when Norwegian organizations and Norwegian people do wonderful things. Makes me think that I can do something wonderful in a wonderfully brave way, too, simply because my ethnic heritage is Norwegian. I think the USA could really use a good dose of Norwegian, right now. :D

OK, the sun is coming up, and if I hurry, I might catch the sunrise over the lake. Have a great day, All.

Obligatory Post - Sorry - and then, The Flood Lights

"Today's been another day of looking for work and moving around enough to be sore.  I'm sore, tired, and headed to bed early.  Here's to another productive day tomorrow.  AM appointment to fulfill my goals.  Might get eyes checked, too.  That would be a good thing.  Boring, Boring, Boring, Mundane - Sorry, Guys and Gals.  I'm tapped.

Take care and keep smiling."

Yep, that was the original post, then I sat straight up in my bed with an, "Oh My God!  April 15th!"

April 15, 1988, my ex-husband rode away with my ex-parents-in-law to go look at some property to buy.  I remember it was April 15th because I thought it was very strange that my accountant father-in-law wasn't working that year.  He'd worked every other April 15th as long as I could remember.  He always started his vacation on April 16th.  Not in 1988.

In 1988, my ex rode away with his mother and step-father in the back of red, Ford Mustang with the white, convertible top down.  He rode away like a Homecoming Queen, waving and shouting,"Good Bye!"  Little did I know that it really was, "Good Bye."

Psychologists often talk about people "cycling" during the years meaning that they have emotional ups and downs that correspond with good and bad events in their lives.  For instance, I always remember April 10th as a wonderful anniversary.  On the other hand,  I've always thought of April 15th as a terrible anniversary. 

Of course, this year, I'd forgotten about it completely until I was trying to figure out what the heck was wrong with me lately; so tired, so sore, so lethargic; feeling lost and sad even though I've been accomplishing so much and been so busy.  That's when the flood light hit me, and I sat straight up in bed.  It was the sitting straight up in bed that did it.

See, once upon a time, I sat straight up in bed because of a dream having to do with my ex after he'd left me.  It was just a dream about his sister's car parking nose-to-nose with our trailer.  It was aggressive and scared me.  Not ten minutes later, my ex walked into the trailer.  I hadn't seen him in over a week.  He was angry and drunk.  He'd driven his sister's car.  He lambasted me about something, didn't look in on his kids, and left.  I locked the door behind him and cried myself to sleep.

If I have managed to turn Christmas Eve into one of my favorite holidays even though the love of my life was killed that night, well; I can turn April 15th into something to celebrate.  After all, I am so much happier without my ex, and all the terrible things he said and did.

Stay tuned for tomorrow's post.  April 16, 2010 seems like a great day to start something big. 

Besides, I just got an email that told me that as long as I forward the wonderful story to seven people, I'll get a miracle.  Funny how I already know.  I've got seven followers, so consider yourselves my seven.  Expect a miracle tomorrow, People.  What the hell.  :D

Sweet, lovely, brilliant dreams to you all.  Life is really getting good.  Mwa!