SURPRISE! - SA's B-Day Present

One of my favorite things to do is buy or make a present for someone while showing it to them and telling them it's for someone else. My aunt did this to me once when she was buying some horse figurines, and it was so great when I opened the present to see the horses that I had picked out for someone else were for me.

My latest knitting project was basically finished on September 21st, and I'm happy to report that it has been gifted to SA. I told her it was for a friend of mine who's birthday is coming up. I asked her opinion about it multiple times and tested it out on BB in front of her to see if it was long enough. It is a scarf/shawl made of light-minty-green, almost turquoise, fuzzy, soft yarn. I reinforced my lie by telling SA that I couldn't make something for her because I didn't want to step on her grandma's toes because SA's grandma knits her the most amazing scarves. Being the diplomat that she is, SA said, "That's OK. I have a whole trunk full of scarves."

Now the first time I told SA that I wouldn't make her anything because that's what her grandma did for her, she responded with a disappointed, "Ahhhhhhh...., but....."

SA then proceeded to get me a book on knitting for my birthday. I am a beginning knitter, and the book she got me is a great instructional flip book with all kinds of stitches and patterns and stuff. I can see it from where I'm sitting.

It dawned on me that it would be a big surprise if I did knit her something, so I set about designing something special for her. A lot of thought went into the design. It is a custom, one-of-a-kind scarf/shawl, or sharf, as I like to call these things that I make sometimes; long enough and wide enough to cover the shoulders and arms if needed, yet made from a yarn that allows for just wrapping it around a person's neck, if desired.

SA is a very strong, hard-working young woman. She takes her familial, school, and work responsibilities seriously. She is tough. She's also a great athlete and takes pride in being better than the boys in her current soccer league. I worry that she doesn't eat and sleep enough to keep up with all the demands that she has on her time, so I nag her about it. I think she's getting better at taking care of herself. She is also funny, kind, and loyal. SA has a heart of gold with an equally stellar mind. She is not perfect, but she is open with me about those things that trouble her. For all of her tough exterior qualities, I've seen a gentleness inside her that brings me to tears. In some ways, she reminds me of me when I was younger. I was never as good an athlete as she is, but I did dance and took great pride in doing my best. She is competitive and struggles with all the nuances involved with being competitive.

AS I was saying, though, for all of her tough exterior qualities, I wanted to honor her inner softer, feminine qualities. This was the inspiration for my design choices. I picked the softest green yarn that I owned and set to work. I wanted it to be a bit looser, so I chose a size 11 knitting needle to work with the yarn that is basically a thread with fuzzy fibers coming off of it.

The entire width of the sharf is 42 chains. I knitted two and purled two and repeated to come up with a pattern equaling 21 changes for 9 rows. Following that, I knitted for 22 rows planning on making a total of 88 rows of knitting separated with the 9 rows of alternating knitting and purling. I soon realized that I would have to make the sharf longer, so I added another 88 rows of knitting and one more set of 9 rows of the alternating pattern. So all in all the pattern is 9 rows of knit two, purl two making a pattern equalling 21 going across; 22 rows of knitting, another 9 rows of the knit two, purl two; 44 rows of knitting; 9 rows of knit two, purl two; 44 rows of knitting; 9 rows of knit two, purl two; 44 rows of knitting; 9 rows of knit two, purl two; 22 rows of knitting; and finally, 9 rows of knit two, purl two.

I had to redo the end where I bound it off because my stitches got too tight and it didn't match the ruffly other side. I'm glad I did that. It was a pain, but well worth the improved final version. That's right. I even made the sharf a bit ruffly.

BB delivered it to her on the day after her birthday, and she's called to thank me and tell me that I am really sneaky. Tee Hee. The weather has cooled off considerably, and I wonder if she's chosen to wear it anywhere, yet. I hope she likes it as much as she says that she does. I remember the first time I showed it to her telling her that I wasn't sure which project I was going to give to my friend. SA held the her sharf and said, "OOoooooo. sssooofffttt." :D

Here's to all my tough women friends. Please remember to honor your softer side, too.

"Quiet on the set."

Production is underway. Sounds of C-clamps and C47's mingle with the din of three conversations taking place at once. It's a controlled din. It's frenetic multitasking at it's best. I know it's at its best because I hear the laughter.

During breakfast the crew and actors were asked to write down their lunch order; so that, their lunch would arrive on time. Three crew members graciously repositioned their care; so that, I can get out of my driveway in BB's car. Lacey curtains were brought up from the basement, and aid was given to both lead actresses. SA was properly teased only after she teased me.

"BB! SA teased me," I tattled in front of the whole crew and cast.

"OK," he acquiesced.

"SA, come here," I directed while walking into my "so clean you gotta wear shades" kitchen. Pointing to the dust, dirt and grime in the space where the dishwasher usually sits; I said, "FAIL!"

"No! It can't be!" SA feigned and crumpled to the living room floor while I continued to point at her and make explosion sounds ending in my best demented, wicked witch laugh.

SO THAT WAS 7 HRS AGO ----

It's been a beautifully busy day. The first day of shooting is wrapping an hour and a half early! Let's hear it for a job well done!

From my experience, in the "real world" when this much laughing and goofing around takes place; bosses start bitching about productivity. Silly, silly bosses. This is the way to work. Granted it's not possible everywhere, nor is it appropriate. It's just wonderful to be in this environment, and I hope that I can do it more often.

All announcements have been well received, and now the packing up banter is going on. Cast and Crew will be back on Thursday.

Sweet dreams, All. Need to go wrap up some costume stuff, etc. :D

"Moving Right Along"

Yesterday's post was cathartic. I indulged myself in about five hours of writing and editing. I usually edit something like that twice before posting. I've reread it and decided it could us a bit more editing. Maybe someday, but not today.

Today is all about action. It is Monday. It is the day before shooting begins in our home. There is a lot of cleaning and clearing to be done. I also have a few personal things to do.

Personal List:

1. Do back exercises - The massage I got yesterday to alleviate some of my lower back and hip pain actually made it worse. Dang. Really wasn't expecting that to happen. Oh well. Onwards and Upwards.

2. Eat well.

3. Drink plenty of water.

That's really it for the Personal List. Not bad.

CLEANING/CLEARING LIST

1. Clear back room and find a place for everything to go. Whew. This is going to take some thought and a lot of physical labor. Can't wait for the garage sale in July.

2. Clean the kitchen. Pretty quick and easy. Must include the refrigerator because will need room for Production food.

3. Clean the bathroom. Quick and easy.

4. Clean the office. AHHHHHHHHHHH! It is going to house the equipment! So much to do! Breathe, 2, 3, 4 ....

5. "Free" the small refrigerator, clean it, and get it set up somewhere to stock food and drink for crew and actors. Being a Technical person, Crew always comes before Actors in my book.

6. Vacuum the whole place.

7. Fold the laundry; all five baskets full. sigh. We'll watch a movie for this, or I'll watch a movie for this.

8. Buy food stuff for the crew and actors. SA asked me to be the Craft Services person last night, and I said yes. SA is going to do the shopping.

9. Wash Mom's Moo Moo, so it will be ready for the fitting tomorrow. I think Mom might have made this Moo Moo when she was pregnant with my brother. It's a funny thing to still have of hers, but I do. I remember her in it so well. It's really very pretty and very well constructed. Isn't Moo Moo a funny word? I'll probably be working on something today and just let a "Moo Moo" slip. That will make me chuckle because I'll think of my mom in her moo moo and about one of my best friends and her collection of cows. Cows. I know, right? My daughter does frogs, and so does my "Born-Again Uncle and Godfather."

10. Clear space in the basement and dress the area being used in the shoot.

I think that's about it for today. The camping gear still needs to go to the laundromat, but that can happen next week while the shoot is at other locations in the suburbs and in the city. It might be nice to go to the city, but it isn't necessary; or is it? Oh Goodness.

I wonder if SA wants me to be Craft Services for the entire production before it heads up north? Oops. Will have to ask. SA? I know you're reading this.

(About 10 minutes later)

BB is up and in the loo. I'm sticking with an "OO" theme today. Moo Moo, Loo, Boo, Do!

On that note, me and my back are headed out to destroy ourselves for SA.

SA WASHED MY CABINETS! I will now destroy myself and my back for her. Ah, face it, add SA to the list of "People I'd Split A Vein For." She's been there for a while. Maybe even before she started dating BB, but that's yet another story. Truly adorable, though. I consider it one of my greatest gifts. Yep. There's another list and a few more stories. It's all about the stories.

We'll be entering a Production Story phase. The title of the project is yet to be disclosed because it is registered with the WGA under BB's real name. Yes, I know. But the only people who really know this is me ... and I mean ME! ... are friends and family that pop by. There may just be "others" who are reading. Shoot. The "others" are friends and family, in some cases.

Quite frankly, remember, for everything that I divulge here, there are more that you'll never know. I like it like that. I want to be like My Grandma Corbin who provided so many stories. I could literally spend my life writing stories inspired by my family and friends. It has been a very full life. Hiding out in my home writing about it and staying safe sounds so good to me. Just have to get my back in shape for all the sitting. Whoa. That's a new approach. LOL

I must also remind my readers that I love to lie. I believe in lying. I believe in combining dishonesty with honesty. I tell you this to prevent you from falling into "true story" trap. For dramatic effect and pacing, even my last story about my time in the hospital had "compilation characters" and made up dialogue with many events left out and some inserted that may or may not have happened as depicted. Dang. I'm writing a disclaimer to my blog. Might have to emphasize this in the blurb about it.

OK, I'm completely indulging myself and making BB nervous. This is not good. I'm off filled with thoughts to keep my mind active while "toting that barge" and "lifting that bale." Remember to lift from the knees - shit! No Wonder my knees are so bad. No, I was born with bad knees. Shit. Gotta get rid of this belly, and I've got just the way to do it. Aren't I lucky. LOL

OH! AND!

11. Clean and dress BB's bedroom!

Off!

Cease Fire: Love and Lists

The First Day of a Cease Fire is hard... unless you sleep most of the day.

Abandoned previously made plans. Formulated new plan with the Henry Kissinger of Familial Peace Negotiations, SA. She suggested that we make a list and even offered to write it down for us. I was dumbfounded at my son's enthusiastic acceptance of Her List Suggestion.

People, here's a clue that your child is in love. When your child reacts to an idea their beloved suggests as though it's a brilliant idea that your child has never heard before; EVEN THOUGH, your child grew up in your house, and you know you suggested the same idea at least three times a week for at least 15 years of your child's life: This means your child is in love. Got it?

When your child's beloved enthusiastically promotes the brilliance of their suggestion, unaware of the familial history; take a deep breath and interject quickly when the beloved finally takes a breath of their own, "Yes. It's a wonderful idea that I've often used myself. DO NOT point out right away, NOR bitch about the familial history of the idea. Got it? (Repeat previous sentence to yourself until it is ingrained in your brain.) Let the moment be. Quietly relish the fact that THE LESSON HAS BEEN LEARNED! Quietly, discretely take this in. Overt celebration may undo the lesson, so keep it on the down-low. Act, Damn It! It's for the common good.

So with LIST in hand, we go forward to conquer our "homework" on Tuesday.

Y-AWNING!

Thanks to my son (from now on known as BB) and his girlfriend (from now on known as SA), I accomplished a goal that I've had for years today. I got all the awnings up that would go together. Three out of four have survived. They've been sitting in my basement for a decade or so. I'm sure I'm not exaggerating. They are airing out along with BB's tent. My yard looks like it's ready for a party. Hmmmmmmm.

I not even tempted to sleep in the tent tonight. I would be if it had been cleaned out by the film crew that it was lent to, but it wasn't; so I'll opt for my comfy bed. Besides, I need to get the rest of the camping gear out of the basement and aired out.



I'm grouchy, dirty, and tired. It was a bitch getting the last awning up.

Years ago, my dad worked for a company that made these things. The largest one is a gazebo. It has two sets of legs; one set has rubber ends, and the other set can be bolted to concrete or a deck, I suppose.



The other two are Port-A-Shades and have handy bags for all the pieces making storage and transport very convenient.



The last time they were up, a giant wind storm came up and one of the gazebos got rolled across the back yard. We had enough pieces to get one gazebo up. That's OK because one awning had rust stains and a hole in it.

OF COURSE AFTER WE GOT THEM ALL UP, I FOUND THE INSTRUCTIONS.

Poor SA. I was so happy when she stopped acting scared and told BB and me to stop acting like five year olds.

BB had hurt my feelings and made me damn mad when he said, "I hate working with you."

We'd been going at each other the whole time until she said that. He did not want to be working with me and was attitudinal. I've never used attitudinal to describe a good mood, so if you haven't heard that one before; this just clears that up.

OMG! Trying to find the words to describe parts, directions, suggestions, and just plain trying to communicate on top of dealing with "the Gandhi of Homework!" It still applies. This was "homework" in the truest sense.

If you're reading this, I'd like you to cut and paste the following link and read the article. I received it from Rebecca, a FB Friend that I've never met in person. It's an amazing article about unconscious sexism. Please read it. It is solid confirmation of how life is different for the sexes.

The Situation of Sexism - The Situationist
http://thesituationist.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/the-situation-of-sexism/

I'd also like everyone to watch the following cartoon about how to save the world. BB sent it to me in a moment of sheer brilliance. Dang. I'm going to have to apologize for being so harsh, maybe. I'm thinking his sarcasm made my retort OK, maybe. I don't know. I did ask him to quit being so silent and attitudinal and let his anger come out in that babbling, funny, true way he has.

"In case you haven't noticed, we've been trying to get out of here for the last fifteen minutes. Is there anything else you're wondering?"

His sarcasm hit me full on. I started to argue with him, but knew nothing good would come of that, so instead I responded with an over-the-top, "Why the Fuck Did I EVER Have Children?!"

BB turned and headed to his car. I turned and headed to the house. SA sat on her car looking in my direction.

"It's OK, SA," I told her. She gets upset when she sees BB and me fight. I told her that I would mentor her out of being afraid around grouchy, loud, arrogant, sarcastic, hard-hitting combatants.

I did get an apology out of him for his mean comment about hating to work with me. I understand where he's coming from. I also understand where I'm coming from. I also understand where my mom is coming from when she asks for my dad's and brother's help. I understand so many of my friends, family and enemies, now. Dang, am I understanding.

Well, maybe I'm not so understanding. I'm back to tense and upset due to "technical difficulties" that are not BB's fault except for the fact that any time I ask him to teach me something about the computer, he doesn't want to. I know, I know. STILL! It's aggravating to the "Nth Degree"!

In any case, here is the link to cut and paste (getting frustrated about my lack of education on this one, too!), so you can watch a brilliant cartoon (some prefer animation) about "How to Save the World." It speaks about mirror neurons, child development, empathic distress, existentialism, religion, history, and much more.

RSA Animate - The Empathic Civilisation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7AWnfFRc7g&feature=player_embedded

The information contained in these two pieces has changed my life. The following song also changed my life. How did they do it? How did they know what I was thinking? How did they know what my parents were thinking?

Paul McCartney - She's Leaving Home [Red Square'2003]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JeNA80mo5DI

It's not that I didn't have any fun with my parents and brother in my hometown. I did have a bit of fun in my hometown, but most of my memories of my time there are miserable. I couldn't wait to leave home. I'm so glad I did.

OK, so now I'm not so grouchy 'cause I've tattled and enlightened. What can I say? Not sorry, right Dad. I'm not. I'm not sorry I tattled even though you always told me not to be a tattle-tale. I'm certainly not sorry that I have attempted to enlighten those who stop by here. I'm not sorry because my dad always tells me to stop saying that I'm sorry, so for you, Dad, "I'm NOT Sorry." Guess you come out about even there, Sir.

I'm still sore and dirty, though. It would be a good idea for me to take a shower and go veg. It is after midnight.

I'm even a bit satisfied and grateful, now. Happy is knocking on the door. He's a cutie pie with a good heart, so I'm going to let him in.

HI! HO! Hi! Ho! Hi, ho, hi, ho. It's off to Life I go! (exits whistling because it's her house, and she can)

If I Do This ...

... will that happen?

"What If" is a game that I became aware of while watching Sesame Street. I used to watch a lot of Sesame Street with my children. I'd watched it before. It premiered on November 10, 1969.

Wikipedia Entry for Sesame Street - (and yep - cut & paste - to read about the Carnegie Institute, Joan Ganz Cooney, Jim Henderson, and many others who intelligently created a new genre of educational television for children. NOTE: "Cooney suggested creating a program that would spread prolearning values to both viewers and nonviewers (including their parents) that would affect them for many years after they stopped watching it.") - GOAL MET.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sesame_Street

Like I said, "I never know exactly what will come out of the fingertips when I start to write these things." Wasn't exactly expecting Sesame Street, but it does play in.

One of my dream jobs was to work for Sesame Street and/or The Children's Television Workshop. I've only dreamed about it. I don't like the current turn that Sesame Street has taken, but it's not entirely terrible. I also wish it was on more often. Strange, huh. Wanting a show on more often (and at better times) when I don't like it as much as I did before. Sesame Street has definitely had a lasting, effective affect on me and countless others.

As time has progressed, I've found that I've fallen in love with little kids again. Their joy and innocence is addicting. How they learn and so quickly! Little sponges running around sucking it all up. It's after they squeeze something out from that sponge that they learn about filtering. What is OK to say. What is not. Behavior; good, bad and so-so. Experiencing this process can be exhilarating. It is exhausting, too. Children force me to be aware of my words and deeds, and I like that. I am not afraid of children.

I've been in love with TV for a long time. The combination of TV and Early Childhood Education was and is brilliant. At one hour in total length cut up into many vignettes, Sesame Street provided me with many opportunities to interact with my children throughout the show. We laughed when we watched Sesame Street and while we retold the stories we had seen. We discussed lessons like "What If" a lot. We talked about all the characters, and why we liked them. Well, before my children could talk, I talked about all the characters, and why I liked them a lot. One of my favorite characters was "The 'A' Machine."

People are constantly griping about TV being used as a babysitter, and I stand proudly guilty as charged. I plopped my kids down to watch Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers. If I had the time, I plopped down with them. If I didn't, I constantly checked in on them and stayed for a moment or two. One of my favorite memories of my son is because of a moment when he was watching Sesame Street just like "A Guy."

Imagine if you will, a two year old boy propped up on his daddy's pillow, laying in his parents bed, watching Sesame Street; one arm bent with his hand behind his head, the other bent with his hand hooked in under his waist band.

"No. No, no. No, no, no," I thought, "What am I going to say? Oh My God! No!"

"Honey, what are you doing? Are you having fun?" I said.

No response.

"Dear. Take your hand out from your waist band, please," I continued, "Gentlemen don't sit like that."

"Huh?"

"Your hand, Sweetie. No not that one. The other one. That's it. Thank you."

I went off to the kitchen to continue my work and breathe while making gestures I didn't want my children to see. When I checked back later, he was at it again.

"Boo-Boo," I reminded.

He removed his hand. He was a pretty quick learner. He also didn't really like being called Boo-Boo. He got the nickname because of Yogi and Boo-Boo. My daughter was taller and took the lead. My son was smaller and followed while questioning the sanity of the decisions.

It's one of my favorite stories about my son. He just graduated from Film School. He's found his passion. His Senior Project was autobiographical; both funny and scary. He can be sloth-like. He can toil like an ox. He's still funny as hell, and to prove it -

Right now, I am listening to him make sounds in the shower; weird yawning, waking up sounds. I swear I heard singing.

He's still "a guy." I've raised me "A Man!" I don't correct him too much anymore. Besides, I consider myself lucky. I only know as much as I do about my son because he still lives with me. His bedroom is his sanctuary, so I butt out.

I even understand, "What?! It's warm." Used to gross me out so bad! Ewwwwww. Now, I've learned the joys of the waist band and the hand(s). It is warm and so perfectly proportional. I've learned many things from my son, and he's learned a lot from me because of Sesame Street.

I wonder if there's a parent and/or teacher out there who has their students make sock puppets or stick puppets, so that their character can give a presentation on a letter or number - to start. That's a pretty basic idea that's good for the ages. Seems I had a teacher, or was it a parent or grandparent, that did that. When I see my granddaughter again, I'll have to have some socks, material, yarn, buttons, needles, thread and glue available. I think I made puppets with my kids. I don't know. Seems laundry lent itself to a few silly sock situations. I have a vague memory of a blind, white newt doing a comedic bit.

If I do this will that happen? It's good to think before doing something. It's good to think while doing something. It's good to have rules that change. It's good to find compromise. It's good to play while working. Talking and laughing are two of the best healing forces around.

My son's girlfriend and I had stressful days yesterday. Off in our own worlds, we shared a certain emotional intensity due to dissimilar situations. My son and I listened to her. My son and she listened to me. My son interjected humor. We did not respond. I offered an affirmation. She responded and started laughing while saying it because my son started offering other voices she could say it with. She turned the table on me with an affirmation, and my son offered a voice. Off we went with our venting/healing session. We are so lucky.

We finished up the evening sharing pet stories. Most of them were funny, and that felt so good. Anytime a story became a bit too serious, we became aware and switched focus to funny, without stating it specifically, understanding that the hour was late and there really was nothing more to be done except laugh, get some rest, and wake up to a new day. Of course, we talked and laughed for hours and stayed up way too late again, but we all went to bed a bit happier and more relaxed; or so I want to believe.

It takes a long time and lots of approaches to get something right. For instance:

My son is now headed out. Before leaving, he walked toward me with his arms outstretched for our hug. My son pretty much always does this. Ninety-nine point nine percent of the time, I'm receptive. This time before he arrived at my side, I already had my arms outstretched towards him. How lucky am I? I'm luckier than you know because before leaving, without any prompting, my son just "did the trash." Amazing. It's taken a long time and lots of approaches to get it right.

If I do this will that happen? It's such a good game, "What If."