Goodness!

I haven't posted since Wednesday, July 7th. That should tell me something...

"What?" you say.

A few things:

1. July is Le Tour de France Month for me, and Thor Hushovd is my favorite cyclist in the race. The first week is usually a Sprinters' Week, and Thor Hushovd is a Sprinter. The races start at 7:30am and end around 10:30am streamed LIVE on my computer. I make coffee at some point and watch in bed. I draw inspiration for my day.

2. July 8th (Thursday), I did another stint of Extra work. I got ready with Le Tour on in the background and left the house at around 12:30pm after doing a phone interview with a staffing agency that has an opening with Abbott. I was late to set. Disappointed with myself, I moved my car a lot, changed three times, took extra food for later when in line, and much to my dismay and subsequent obsessing; I gave the Assistant Costume Designer, Andrea, a disappointed look when she said I could be a Street Pedestrian. The worst thing about that look is that it worked out to my advantage, again. I'm so sorry, Andrea, wherever you are. Uncalled for, and below my standards for myself. I did have a good talk with Tyler, the Extras PA; Will and Tim, two PA's that BB has worked with; Tom, the Extras Hair Stylist for the evening; and Daniel, the Costume Designer. I was annoyed by one group who complained far too much and got paired with one of the ladies. I think I talked too much, and that damned disappointed look. Oh well. Got off early again and was happy to have spent a few hours in Heaven. It was really soothing to my soul, so if I've outworn my welcome in Heaven; well, maybe I'll endear myself enough to gain entrance to another Heaven or even the same one someday. All is not lost. It's a long race to the finish, and a Professional doesn't panic and shows up when sick, injured and/or scared. Check. Got home around 1am and took a few hours to wind down. Answered a few emails and settled a few thoughts; such as, "OK, so I could work for Abbott," and "Let go." Still not falling asleep until 3am did take its toll.

3. Friday, July 9th, was a big day for me.... One of my cousins got married, one of my best friend's had a birthday, and it's the anniversary of The Finalization of My Divorce in 1990. Happy 20th to me! Congrats to my cousin! Happy 40th to my friend! Seems as thought I'm forgetting someone or something. In any case, it was a rather emotional day for those reasons. Ping-Pong Ball kinda emotions. Lots to process. I also chose to apply for Food Stamps because my Unemployment Benefits have been exhausted which meant that I had to call Unemployment. I had to call the Housing Authority, too, because I am eligible for a reduction in rent because of my income change. Folks, do you ever think about the workers on the front lines who are trying to help the many who are losing benefits and ..... Well, I can tell you that it's taking its toll on them. We all agree that we're not happy with our Representatives for taking a vacation without voting on and passing another extension to the Unemployment Benefits. The receptionist was particularly distraught which she displayed through exasperated questions that were really none of her business. I did my best to educate her. So there I was, just as I had predicted, without money applying for other forms of help and doing my best to be polite and civil while my cousin and quite a few of my family were together celebrating my cousin's wedding. I guess knowing that if I'd had the money, I wouldn't have attended the wedding, nor gotten together with my friend for her 40th Birthday celebration did give me some solace. Besides, I was dead tired; so after taking care of a bit of immediate survival stuff, I slept until 8pm. When I awoke, I was a grouch, sore, and completely disappointed with the condition of the house. I snarked at BB, but we talked and will get through this, too.

4. It is now Saturday, July 10th, and I have watched the first Mountain Stage of Le Tour. I have again been inspired. I am again back at my blog. I am again sorting through the many thoughts and emotions that I have. I am almost ready to start carrying out my plans which means the house will be cleaned, the garage sale stuff will be sorted and priced, and we will eat something good at least three times today. There will be hugging and laughing because that is a part of "The Three Rules." Have I written that story for you yet? I have written it before, but I can't remember if I've done it here. Does anyone know? Please let me know if you get the chance because I'm going to be off working on stuff and really don't feel like going through all my posts. I have to make a Student Loan payment because I didn't get my stuff in for an Economic Hardship Deferment, but it's only $40; so I'll manage. This should clear up my record; so that, I can enroll in school for the Fall. I have spoken to my daughter on her only day off because she called me. I cheered her up and frustrated her all in one call. I am so good at multitasking.

That's it for now. I think I've settled some thoughts about my future and need to put things into action. I'll have to do a count, but I believe that I have a few posts to make-up, again; so I'll be back.

Oh to be Samantha Stevens or Mary Poppins.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! PART THREE

Arriving back at Extras Holding, I saw the woman, who had been sitting next to me at lunch, having a cigarette.

"Smoking?" I thought and noticed two more people smoking outside, "Yay! I'm going for it."

One cigarette later, I went back into Extras Holding to wait. I was still a sweaty mess, so I spent a lot of time by the A/C. I didn't spend all of my time by the A/C, though.

I went outside to have another cigarette and soon heard a guy in shorts, a t-shirt and baseball cap, "I can't believe I caught him! Whew! Probably because I'm not wearing my vest. Thirty-five pounds lighter must be why. I'm an off-duty police officer," he continued and lifted up his t-shirt to reveal his gun.

"What happened?" I asked the woman I'd been smoking with.

"They caught a shoplifter."

"What?"

"Yeah," the off-duty cop went on, "How stupid do you have to be ..."

"You'd think with all these cop cars around ...," a uniformed officer joined in.

We all looked from cop car to cop car and from cop to cop. It was mind-boggling. Why would someone do that? Maybe he needed a place to sleep. Maybe he really is stupid. Honestly though, why would someone shoplift in the middle of a movie location with so many law enforcement and security personnel around? We shook our heads. A few chuckled. We stood and watched the real-life drama unfold as two female officers showed up in a sqaud car.

"They'll be taking him in," said the uniformed officer.

We continued to watch. Sure enough, in no time at all, the suspect walked out, handcuffed behind his back with a patrolwoman on either arm. I almost felt sorry for the guy, but that didn't last long. We all just stared in disbelief. Little did we know what we would witness this evening.

I went back inside because Bob and Tyler told us to. Everybody moved into the room and towards their seats.

Bob stood by the door and announced, "OK, I'd like all the people who are going to be inside to stand over here," Bob said, "... and who here is a pedestrian?"

In almost all cases, while someone was making an announcement, they would have to stop what they were saying to listen to their headset and maybe respond. In all cases, a polite, "Just a minute" or "Excuse me" smoothly inserted.

Soon the people who were going to be inside and pedestrians were gone. I saw the redhead and brunette women leave dressed in their waitress outfits. I saw the guy who was playing a busboy leave wearing a dirtier t-shirt than the one he had shown up in. I'd watched the Wardrobe Master teach him how to tie his apron while he was being set up. I saw the woman I had lunch and a cigarette with leave with the group going inside. I watched the woman who had the fantastic costume on ahead of me in line head out with the group going inside. I watched others in brighter costumes leave knowing that they would be pedestrians across the street.

I started to settle down and considered what I was going to do to keep myself busy. I didn't have time to decide before Bob returned.

"We're going to use some of our drivers as pedestrians. When I call your name, please go stand over there."

As he called each name, I sat in my corner hoping that he wouldn't call my name.

"Michelle," Bob said.

"Shit," I thought, "OK. Here we go."

I stood up, headed to the other side of the room, got in line and waited. People started talking a bit, and I went to the bathroom, again. Dang nerves.

Soon enough, Bob returned and more instructions were given. We were to be split up into groups. I was placed in a grop of five closest to Extras Holding. Our group was assigned to Laurel, one of the many PA's on the set.

The whole lot of us moved outside and waited. I looked around at the people noting that the one guy who really wanted to be in the movie hadn't been picked. I heard another guy tell his buddy not to join the "chosen ones" and not to worry because they'd get picked, too. I just waited. I didn't really listen to what was being said. Mainly, I listened to tone of voice and observed body language.

There was a young woman who looked amazingly like Winona Ryder. It was uncanny. I saw her talking to Bob and another gentleman. I would later learn that the other man was Jon, the Atmosphere Casting Casting Director.

Soon boredom crept in, and I saw the police officer that I'd been noticing for about a half hour. He looked very much like an officer that I'd met back in the fall when BB was shooting a Buick commercial. It had been a memorable occasion for me, and I was pretty sure that he was the one who had spontaneously posed for me while I hid and tried to take pics of BB without being noticed or in the shot.

I walked up to the officer, "Excuse me. Did you work a Buick commercial last fall?"

The officer looked at me and told me that he had.

"I was there taking pictures of my son."

"Who's your son?"

"BB"

"Oh yeah, I remember," he said, "I remember you taking the picture, "How is he?"

"He's good. He's working on his own project, but maybe when he gets done, he'll be called in here, or..."

"Good," said Gary, "Nice to see you, again. Opes. Gotta go. Thanks for remembering. See you." Gary left towards Extra Casting, and I returned to my group.

Again, the groups moved, and we were finally split into the groups we would be in until further notice. Laurel introduced herself, and we waited some more. People started loosening up. People started talking. Well, actually, Lauren, the woman who was a dead-ringer for Winona Ryder kept talking. She was very excited.

"They said that I look exactly like Winona; and that, they wished they'd seen me before they cast her double. They were talking about using me. Do you think they will?" Lauren went on and on.

I was glad to listen and not offer any opinions. I was happy to observe and listen. I was getting more and more comfortable. My feet felt good. My back didn't hurt. I was sweating in my hoodie, but there was a really nice breeze.
Standing with Laurel and the other four Extras in my group, I kept my mouth shut and listened.

"OK," Laurel said, "Here's what we're going to do. Ping-Ponging...."

I looked at her completely confused. Everyone must've because she continued, "I'll be sending you by ones and twos. All you have to do is walk to the other corner. OK. Rolling."

With Laurel at one end and another wonderful, female PA at the other; ten of us walked from corner to corner. We stood and waited, and while we did we started to talk. We got to know each other a bit more.

My group consisted of the aforementioned Winona Ryder Look Alike, Lauren; Wesley; Charlie; Dan and me. Lauren talked non-stop. That was OK. It kept things lively. Nobody was required to join in. She mainly talked with Laurel, but sometimes just threw a random story out there. For the first part of the evening, the stories centered around her desire to act and experiences on sets.

"He was really nice. Let me stand there and watch the monitors with his hand on my back...." Lauren continued on.

Charlie and I looked at each other. Laurel drew back a centimeter. Wes and Dan perked up. Lauren noticed. She wasn't a stupid woman; just a bit naive.

"You don't think ..."

The Extras looked at each other, looked at Laurel, the PA, and looked down at the sidewalk.

"Yeah," Laurel grimaced, "That's a bit much."

Charlie kinda snorted and added, "Yeah."

Dan, Wesley, and I joined in with a "yeah", too.

Poor Lauren saw a bit her naivity land in a puddle at her feet. An awkward silence insued. No one spoke. No one spoke for a few minutes. By this time in the evening, we had walked a good couple of times. We had stopped and started over. We had "reset." We were tired and a bit sore.

As we continued to stand or lean on the planter and wait, I started a conversation with Charlie.

"So what brings you here tonight?

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! - PART TWO

So there I was driving around in circles trying to get back to what might have been but didn't really look like the proper parking area. I talked to a parking lot attendant who was very helpful. I got chased down by a guy asking if I was "going to the show." I told him that I wasn't and rolled up my passenger window. I, finally, talked to Bob.

Ah, Bob. Beautiful, kind, welcoming Bob. Thank you, thank you, thank you for welcoming me so warmly.

"Are you one of my drivers?"

"Yep."

"Hi. I'm Bob."

"Hi. I'm Michelle," I said and stuck out my right hand for a hand shake. Bob looked at it quizzically and extended his left hand. We shook. It was a very nice hand shake. Not proper at all.

"OK. Well, here. Just a minute," he continued and left to ask the person parking in front of me if they were with the movie. The blue car left, and he told me to park right in front of the police car.

With that done, I packed up my belongings and started to exit. Bob met me at my window and handed me a piece of typing paper that had "letters and numbers" on it indicating that I was Driver #4 for the movie. I stuck it on my dash and placed another piece of typing paper that BB had made for me with my name and phone number on it.

"What do you think?" I grimaced at Bob, "Should I really put this in my window?"

"No," he answered, "Then everybody could have it."

"Yeah, that's what I kinda thought," I continued, "My son made it for me, but well, I'm a single lady down here, and.... Anyway, so I should take all my stuff down to Extras Holding? 4707, right?"

"Yes. You're a bit early ..."

"YAY!" I interjected.

Bob chuckled, "You can keep your keys. Usually we'd have you leave them, but he's right here," he nodded towards the policeman standing by his police car"

"Sounds good."

Bob smiled, and I got my suitcase out of the trunk. All the while, I babbled about my son. Bob asked questions, and I answered.

"Tyler is down there, and he'll get you checked in," Bob instructed me when I was ready to go, "Be careful crossing the street."

I smiled, "I think I'll be polite and ...," I headed towards the crosswalk with great luggage.

Yes, my luggage ensemble needs to be mentioned. Besides the leather production bag that Dad had given me years ago, I also had the rolling suitcase with extending handle that doubled as a bag you could hang your clothes in which I had carefully done according to outfit. Dad gave this to BB years ago, too. YAY DAD! THANK YOU! "I LOOKED MARVELOOOOS, or at least I was comfortable in my schlubby outfit.

My hair had dried a bit on the way down, so I was hopeful that the block and a half walk wouldn't undo it completely. As I walked to the corner, I looked to my left and saw the trucks and crew. I turned to my right to cross North Broadway, and headed to Extras Holding. I did my best to be as graceful as I could be toting my wares.

When I arrived at Extras Holding, I navigated past some guys hooking up what looked like temporary air conditioning and through the door. There were people already inside, and I walked right by Tyler in a daze.

"You're checking in?" Tyler asked.

I turned around and got my paperwork and instructions from him. He mentioned that I was a bit early, too.

"Yay Me!" I thought and smiled a big goofy smile. I parked myself at the first table and got started to fill out the paperwork. I didn't want to sit in the front, but it was convenient. I thought it might be cooler, too. It was warm inside.

While I got myself situated, I looked around the room. There was a one table with people around it who seemed to know each other or at least had done this before. The red-haired lady was called to the mirror by a man in a white shirt and shorts. He was the make-up and hair artist. They talked while he got her ready for her role.

More people came in, and I decided that if I was going to hide in a corner, the back corner by the bathroom and bubbler was the place to be. It was open, so I gathered my things and moved quickly.

I set up in my corner and took out the paperwork, again. More people came in. Tyler made more announcements. The make-up and hair artist finished a simple, yet wonderful do for the lady, and called for his next victim; a pretty brunette.

A young, dark-brown haired, red glasses wearing woman entered and called for our attention, "Hi. I'm from Wardrobe. We'd like you to put on your best outfit and come have us check it."

I thought about the weather and the suitcase and the timing and picked. I opened up my suitcase and grabbed my brown hoodie and went to stand in line.

When I got to the front, the same woman, with the wonderful graduated bob, had been joined by another woman who was a bit taller, had her hair pulled back, and was wearing one of the world's best white shirts. Directing them was a gentleman in equally cool clothes giving his opinions on each outfit.

"She's great!," he exclaimed about the woman in front of me, "She should be inside."

"You can zip that up," the first woman said to me as I approached wearing my Steve Kerr t-shirt under my hoodie.

"Yes," the gentleman said focusing on me, now, "You're a driver?"

"Yes. Don't even worry" I responded, "I've got a brown t-shirt."

"Yes. They may pull you out," he agreed while both women nodded beside him.

I went back to my things and got my brown t-shirt and waited for the bathroom to open up.

After I'd gotten approved by wardrobe, I had to bug them one more time to see if I could wear my sunglasses on top of my head.

"Sunglasses, OK?"

The introductory woman shook her head and announced to the room, "It's a night shoot, so no sunglasses."

Glad I could help. I went back to my corner and wiped the waterfall of sweat that was running down my face. My hair was completely soaked. It wasn't unbearably hot, but there I was with my white towel vigorously drying my whole head off. I got out a water bottle and headed up towards the A/C unit without my hoodie or much hope of drying my hair, but at least I'd cool off a bit.

I'm going to interject here, since I may not remember at the end of all of this that looking back; I would've gotten on my brown t-shirt, added my lavender shawl/scarf and purple headband instead of just going with the brown hoodie. Still, for wanting to hang in the car, not wanting to get picked, and definitely wanting to stay as cool as possible; my choice turned out pretty good. At least Wardrobe approved it. Don't know if they would've approved the other - CAUSE I DIDN'T ASK because I was a bit OVERWHELMED.

Soon Tyler was talking again, "We're going to take you over to eat. It should be pretty good. Just a few rules. Do not speak unless spoken to. If someone speaks to you, just say, 'Hi.' Just line up and someone will walk you over to ... Is anyone here Buddhist?"

I perked up and my thoughts raced, "Buddhist? Did he ask if anyone was Buddhist. There is a Buddhist Temple around here. They must have rented it. Cool. I'm not really Buddhist, but I like Buddhist...."

I joined the line and started talking to a lady behind me. She had never been an Extra before either. She works for the City. She has something to do with cleaning up hazardous waste on City property. Very cool Her handbag was made out of recycled tires. Nice lady. She held my spot while I followed a woman to the bathroom.

When I got back we were led to the Buddhist Temple. As we approached we could hear drumming. Really good drumming. There were small windows on the side of the Temple, and a drumming rehearsal or lesson was taking place. As we walked around the corner, we saw a grill outside. We were told to wait a moment. When we entered we were informed that the buffet line was for us.

The spread was GREAT! I mean COMPLETELY, TOTALLY AWESOME!

"If this is what the Extras get..., " I thought and grabbed a plate. First there was mashed sweet potatoes followed by rice with bit of veggie. I passed those two up and went for the sauteed carrots and other root vegetables. I think I had some turnips or parsnips and maybe even some rutabaga, but I'm not sure. It just looked so good that I had to try it. After the veggies came the beef, chicken and fish. FISH! I loaded my plate with fish. Piled it on. I grabbed an apple from in front of the fish and continued on to the salad bar. SPINACH! I just wanted Baby Spinach, so I loaded up on that, too. I looked for the cucumbers that I'd seen a young man restocking. They were at the end of the line. I hoped there'd be some left by the time I got there. They looked to be the same as my grandma's. You know, the vinegar and sugar kind. Well, I'm very happy to report that there were still cucs left when I got to them. I piled those on my plate, too.

Walking back to a table, I looked for the drink station. I set my plate down next to a woman I would end up talking to later and headed to get a lemonade. All the while this is going on there was a guy in a black shirt and jeans walking around talking. He was just sort of throwing out a general question or two about having fun. Nobody talked to him. He gave up and headed out the door. With him gone, we could really hear the Buddhist drumming and conch shell. It sounded so good.

The man sitting in front of me started to chuckle, "Look at everybody bobbing their heads."

I nodded at him, looked at the older woman who had been sharing the A/C with me earlier bobbing her head, smiled and continued to eat while bobbing my head.

"Heaven!" I thought, "Welcome to your first Extras experience."

I thought no more. I ate and enjoyed the sights and sounds. I relaxed. I reminisced about how relieved I was when BB returned from his first day of his internship on "The Beast" when he told me not to worry because he got fed on set. There I was enjoying a grand feast, and I didn't have to think. I just relived a few happy memories and gobbled down my food aware of my pacing so as not to give myself indigestion, yet get out of there in a timely fashion allowing for a gander at the drummers before I left.

With apple and lemonade in hand, I headed back to Extras Holding.

Extra! Extra! Read All About It! - PART ONE

At approximately 5:30am on June 25, 2010, I woke up to a television reporter commenting about the Unemployment Extension vote. It didn't pass.

"Motherfucker," I thought, "Great. Now I'm awake. Shit."

Laying in bed, listening to the full report and the various opinions of various commentators on various channels, I thought of the letter I had just received from Unemployment telling me that I would be informed about what would happen next since my extension was coming to an end.

"It is the one year anniversary of Michael Jackson's death," introduced another reporter, and the story went on from there.

"Michael Jackson's death, Unemployment Benefits no more, and I've got one day's worth of work. Here we go. Better finish packing. After I've done that, I can lay down and maybe get a nap in."

I'd been sent an e-mail telling me to bring three possible outfits for Early Spring weather in Fall colors. The e-mail also told me where the shoot was and where to look to park my car. I was brought in as a driver.

On Thursday night, BB & I washed both cars; so I was set in the vehicle department. I'd also started picking out wardrobe and driving SA & BB nuts with my questions. It's a dangerous thing to be a Costume Designer/Wardrobe Mistress and be putting together outfits. SA did help, but basically I just needed someone to bounce ideas off of. I picked out most of my three outfits while she was at our house, but continued til I was satisfied after she left. My outfits were as follows:

1. Brown T-Shirt w/Brown Hoodie Sweater, my raggiest jeans, and hiking shoes.
2. Teal light-weight sweater w/cool scarf, khaki capris, and tennies.
3. Maroon light-weight sweater w/lavender scarf I made, navy bell-bottoms, and either pair of shoes.

I had a good idea of what I was bringing to keep myself busy, and what food I was going to take "just in case." I'd decided to take my knitting, a book by David Lynch, a book by Frank Zappa, and some art supplies to keep me busy. My food choices were granola bars, baby carrots, some chicken, and some spearmint leaves. I also decided to bring gum, mints and two bottles of water. It was just a matter of getting everything packed up in my suitcase and leather production bag that I got from Dad many years ago.

I ran down to put a load of whites in the laundry, came back up and got to work. I was so mad at our Senate, felt bad for Michael Jackson's kids, and was so nervous that I wanted to puke. I drank some decaf and kept going. Finally I decided that I best eat something, so I had a bit of left-over Italian Sausage, coleslaw and potato salad.

After all of this was done, I found that I was still genuinely pissed at our Senate. It was fueled by a comment made on "Monsters & Money", a local morning talk show. I don't know the commentator's name, but he summed it up beautifully, "Why take it out on the weakest link? I can go to Washington right now and find the money and be back here tomorrow morning." I decided to write to my Senators, and if you've been reading; you may have read my letter to them.

With that done, and no sleep in sight, I thought it might be nice to watch a movie that Ron Howard had directed. What I really wanted to do was listen to a Director's Commentary on the DVD. I started looking through our DVD collection and came across "Cinderella Man." It seemed appropriate, but I didn't know who had directed it. I pulled it out, and TA DA! Ron Howard!

With the DVD in the machine, me in my bed, and a good three hours until I had to start getting ready to leave to be at the set early; I laid down for a rest.

For those of you who don't know, "Cinderella Man" is the dramatized story of James J. Braddock, a boxer during The Great Depression. Dubbed "The Cinderella Man" by Damon Runyan, Braddock was and is a true inspiration to hard-working, down-on-your-luck people everywhere. It's not just Braddock, though. His wife, Mae, was instrumental to his success. It is the story of decent people trying to survive and succeeding.

Ron Howard's voice kept me captivated rather than lulling me to sleep. His commentary is brilliant down to who he thanks, the technical choices he made, and the research he did, and the personal stories he shared.

As my alarm went off, with the movie just ending, I started to dress in my most comfortable driving clothes; my raggiest jeans, my Steve Kerr t-shirt from the 1997 Bulls Championship season, my hiking shoes and favorite socks. Just as I was done getting everything zipped up, BB & SA returned from their shoot.

"Who's this I see?" asked SA blocking my way out.

"I am Extra Person."

"What have you done with Forward?"

"Oh, she's inside in a straight jacket shaking like an earthquake, but I can handle her. Has anyone seen my reading glasses?"

FLOP SWEAT! My hair that had looked so good was soaked as sweat poured down my face. I grabbed a towel and continued looking. BB half-heartedly helped until I found my reading glasses in my bag with my knitting.

DANG FLOP SWEAT! Oh well.

We laughed and gathered my things, and headed down to the car. BB helped me load the car and motioned that we needed to hug.

"They grow up so fast," he mocked as we did a proper, long, no-pats hug.

I laughed and told him to be on his way, and took off. I was so light-headed that I had to convince myself that I would not be passing out. I was on my way, and this was not a matter of life and death. Gees.

About three blocks away from my house, I realized that I hadn't filled the tank, so I looked at the gauge and did a triple take. It was full. BB had filled the tank for me on Thursday without telling me. I called and left a thank you message for him, and continued driving. It was 5:18pm. I was to be on set at 6:45pm. I'd planned on leaving at 5pm, but well, you know.

I had decided to take Sheridan down because it can be faster than the Edens at rush hour. Besides, it's an absolutely beautiful drive that I can do in my sleep. As I headed on my way, I drove like a grandma too conscious of having an accident and mucking up everything.

If you're unfamiliar with the North Shore Sheridan drive, it is filled with beautiful architecture and famous landmarks. I decided to take the route that included passing behind Ravinia Festival. When I joined Sheridan at Lake-Cook Road, I was relaxed enough to take in some of my favorite bridges. My favorite section of road goes down a ravine in Winnetka. It's steep and twists and turns with trees close by and hanging over the road. It's very fun to drive a small, fast car through this little stretch of road. Continuing on, I passed the Baha'i Temple in Wilmette and went on past the main gate of Northwestern University. From there, Lake Michigan is directly to the left and then there's a pretty little section of Evanston. Coming out of Evanston, is a huge cemetery to the right and Lake Michigan to the left. Finally the Loyola campus is to the left after going through a bit of Roger's Park. North Broadway, where I was to report for parking is reached by continuing straight instead of turning left on the south edge of the Loyola campus.

I continued in the right-hand lane to the corner of North Broadway and Lawrence. I saw a bit of activity north of the intersection, but nothing that indicated that this was where I was supposed to park. I turned left onto Lawrence and saw five white semis parked with equipment and people working. I was in the right spot. Now to find out where to park my car.

"I'll Be Back"

Ten minutes to twelve. YAY! Made it. Sort of.

Had to rest a bit folks. I was up over 24 hours starting at 5:30am on Friday and ending around 7am on today.

Got a few hours of sleep, jumped out of bed and went to see if I could find BB, SA, my daughter and granddaughter during their production. I did find BB & SA, but I missed my granddaughter's "film debut."

It's all OK, though. All went well according to BB, SA and my daughter.

Are you waiting with baited breath for my report on my time as an Extra? Well, breathe easy. I'll be back tomorrow to give the blow by blow.

Right now, I need to relax a bit more. The pain is finally gone, and now it's time to get some shut eye.

Be back.

My e-mail to Senators Durbin & Burris

I sent the following e-mails to my Senators. No sense in sending one to Representative Kirk. It only annoys me when I get a form letter back stating why he is against what I am for. I also sent an e-mail to President Obama and his staff with my blog address because my 7,165 character letter was too big for the form. Please note that in this writing I have not changed any proper names. This is what it is.


Dear Senator Durbin (and Senator Burris):

I'm writing to urge you to continue to fight for the Unemployment Extension Bill. Would my long, sad job-seeking history aid you in your efforts? I'm certain that there are those who are suffering more than I am, so I'm not just writing this on my own behalf, but on the behalf of everyone who faces a very uncertain future. There are so many.

I've been unemployed since January 21, 2009. I have had a total of eight interviews since I became unemployed. I have been informed that I will receive up to four days of work on the Ron Howard film that is shooting in the Chicago area. I'm waiting to receive instructions for a night shoot tonight. I am nervous beyond belief. I'm trying everything I know of and not succeeding.

I have not applied for Food Stamps or gone to any pantries, but will be as soon as I am cut off. I have considered myself one of the lucky ones since I receive Unemployment Benefits. I've been conscientious about the strains put on charitable organizations and other Government Agencies, so I've been using my Unemployment Benefits for all our needs.

I have a garage sale planned for the middle of July. The plan is to sell approximately 75% of my belongings, and more if needed.

I cut the Cable long ago, and have been about as responsible as I can be regarding luxuries. Should my Unemployment Benefits be discontinued, I will still have a bit of money that can get us through for about a month, maybe. After that, if I don't have a job; I don't know what I'll do. I'll be figuring that out today while I wait for an e-mail telling me whether or not I have one day's work at minimum wage.

I used to have a title and work in Winnetka at the Public Access studio. I got laid off.

My children became very sick at that time. I was lucky to have 18 months of medical insurance as part of my severance package. I took the time I felt that I needed to care for my children. I am a single parent, and have been for over 20 years. My children are my life.

Eventually, I got a job at Evanston Northwestern Healthcare (now named something else). I was fired for missing days due to injuries sustained during a rape. I accepted a severance package from them, and signed the paperwork that I'd never speak of it and couldn't ever work there again. I was mentally fragile at the time and made a mistake as a result. Should've called The Press. I did contact Senator Obama's office, and they sent me forms to fill out. I did, but had no luck. One day I saw Senator Garrett in Highwood, so I asked her what I should do. She basically said to take the money and run. The VESSA lawyer also told me to do so. I did. I'm sorry that I did because here I sit with a ton of bad feelings and no job.

I did get employment after that with Integramed America/Fertility Centers of Illinois, but after almost two years of service; I was fired when I broke down one day due to continued workplace abuse and bigotry. Five times I called the Dept. of Human Services and was told that they would send forms to me, so I could file a complaint. The forms never showed up, and I gave up; another mistake - Should've gone to The Press.

The older I've gotten, the more fragile I've become. It takes longer to bounce back and get my head on straight; still, once done, I'm a fantastically skilled, intelligent hard worker who would do someone a lot of good. I can't get in the door. I watched my dad go through the same thing when he was 50, so I am not surprised.

I also know that I need to lose weight and boost my skills even more. I'm working on achieving both goals. It is slow going. Going back to school is easier than losing weight for me.

The thing is, Senator, I've become one of the disenfranchised and disgusted. Because of my background in Public Access, I met quite a few politicians including President Obama, Senator Simon, Representative Rostenkowski, State Senator Link, Representative Kirk, Senator Burris, and many, many more. I have a firm dislike for Representative Kirk based on personal experience. I have fond memories of making President Obama laugh. I always enjoyed my conversations with State Senator Link. Yet with all this experience, I am completely dismayed at the current political climate and am not sure I even want to live in this country anymore, but I'm stuck here. I have fallen through a few cracks and am frustrated and heartbroken.

I'm a good person. I'm just one of many who are languishing; slowly dying everyday, yet getting up and trying one more time.

I am among the lucky. I have a Housing Voucher. My rent will be adjusted to my income. Because I have chosen to stay in the apartment where I raised my children, and where my son still lives with me; I will still be required to pay something towards my rent. We may be moving, I guess.

My son is looking for work, and has worked in his field. He is looking for any kind of work, though. He has a hefty Student Loan balance since he graduated from The Illinois Institute of Art in December 2009.

Also, anytime we do have work; we report it to the proper authorities. My life with my children has been a constant reporting to the authorities because I chose to accept Government Aid.

Had I chosen a better husband, I would not have decided to accept as much Government Aid as I have; still, I am grateful for my Voucher because I have been able to keep a roof over our heads while I got my college degree and worked. I will be finalizing my Back Child Support paperwork in hopes of collecting some of the over $25,000 that Keith Harrison Maxwell (living somewhere in California) the children's Deadbeat Dad owes. He shows no remorse. He actually told his son that he decided not to pay his Child Support because he would've become a bitter man because he'd have to go without something he wanted. This is the same man who molested my (yes, my by now) daughter. I picked a real loser and have been battling my own bitterness, anxiety and depression for all these years. My nerves are almost shot, but I'm not dead yet; so here I am writing to you.

I, for one, am becoming increasingly angry knowing that the politicians, bankers, lawyers, insurance executives, etc. have pretty decent jobs with benefits while it just seems to be getting tougher and tougher here at the bottom of the financial food chain. We really are expendable, aren't we. Just like the young who sign up to be soldiers. We can spend money to protect (as in their assets) and kill people, but we can't spend money to make sure people have a place to live, something to eat, and a place to work? Come on. Really? What's the point of living in a country like that? What's the point of preserving that way of life?

Please help the many, who like me, are struggling to survive with a bit of dignity, honesty and hope.

Sincerely,
Michelle A. Ofstun

PS: I do have a blog, and I think my letter to you is going to be posted there. I'm always encouraging people to write to their representatives, so... the address is http://forwardatfifty.blogspot.com

Day Off

Man, do I ever know how to take a day off! Watching "So You Think You Can Dance", right now. I think this is the most that I've done all day. The Grand Procrastinator Lives!

BB & SA are here editing segments of their project. They're so smart. Absolutely impressed with their organization, creativity, and drive. It's looking good so far.

We'll leave it at that and see what tomorrow brings. I'm still in the afterglow of yesterday.

Have fun, People. Stay safe in this crazy weather!

June 18th - A Very Action Packed Day & More

I was so surprised that my daughter showed up with my granddaughter that I forgot to let our new downstairs neighbor that the party had started. She's getting birthday cake and caprese pasta salad, though, because she acted "above and beyond" when she not only met me in our entry and asked, "Oh, you saw it, too? We just saw it go." referring to the gazebo; and then, came outside to help break down the blue Port-A-Shade that held it's ground, but got bent to hell.

What a day. There I am thinking that I'm headed for a glorious nap after cleaning the kitchen after the party for about a dozen when the storm hits. I knew it was kicking up when I peeked down at the trash cans, saw them moving, and yelled for BB to take them to the basement. I didn't think of the gazebo. I didn't think of yelling at the whole crew to get outside WITH ME to secure the yard. Wish I had, but don't actually know what we could've done to stop the gazebo one from blowing into the middle of the street.

What triggered my concern, after seeing the trees blowing and sheets of rain coming down at about a 45 degree angle, was when SA's 12 year old sister came into the living room and said, "Whoa. That scared me. I just saw the ceiling move. I mean it went up and down!"

I cruised to the office and looked at the ceiling, "What room were you in?"

"I was back with the kitties."

I cruised to the porch, and looked at the tile ceiling already knowing that there had been a shift in the barometric pressure which meant .....

I FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR AND DASHED DOWNSTAIRS where I practically collided with our neighbor. She said what she said as I stood holding open the screen door with my mouth hanging open and my brain trying to figure out, "What's wrong with this picture?"

It took a couple beats, but I finally translated "go" to "gone." In an instant, I pictured the wind gust carrying the gazebo away. I ran to the front of our yard to see the gazebo strewn across the street with a black sedan about three feet away from it and two other cars right behind the black one. Looked like they came to a screeching halt.

"HOLY SHIT!" my brain screamed at my body. Next thing I knew, I was breaking down the gazebo looking at three cars, headlights on, waiting for me to clear the street. I looked down our street by the new entrance to the old folks' home, and saw a tree branch with a car coming around it. So there I am standing under a tall tree with a transformer next to it, breaking down aluminum piping not even thinking of lightning, getting completely soaked, throwing tubing hard enough so it makes a loud clanking sound, thinking about all the young people inside when SA, SA's friend, and our neighbor come careening outside through the side door followed by BB emerging from the basement door.

They start breaking down the blue Port-A-Shade, and I continue to bitch about breaking down the gazebo by myself. I know they can't hear me yell because I tried, so I keep hauling the gazebo off the street through my gate. Something about going out into the open street to get the aluminum pole concerned me, so I just started pulling the awning and breaking down mangled legs and roof supports. It didn't take too long to clear enough room for the cars to pass. Right about that time, two crew members drove out of the driveway, and I waved good-bye and grumbled about stupid dipshits not having enough sense to offer help.

Four of the crew did help, though, so soon we successfully got everything in. AS I stood out in the pouring rain, I noticed that my next door neighbor's yard had stuff strewn about. I went over and started putting it back in place. Next thing I know, CeCe appears in her kitchen window. I was surprised because her car wasn't in the driveway. Come to find out that her car was sitting at the local water park because its brakes went out or something like that. All of a sudden BC appeared beside her, and we talked ending with a my much needed bad pun, "Well, as they say, 'When it rains, it pours.'"

I got completely soaked by the storm. It felt so good. I needed a good storm, or maybe I shouldn't have said, "No," when SA told me that in five minutes I could come down to the basement to put all the stuff back.

I only said, "No," because the garbage bag had leaked all over the kitchen floor when I thought I was done already with the kitchen. I was forced to get out the Swiffer and scrub a bit after rebagging the garbage. Maybe if I had gone to the basement after that, but .... well, whatever. I figured and still figure that crew will be here Saturday to help clean up the basement.

I finally went in when the rain started to let up, but only after letting it wash away the awkwardness that I've been feeling for and from CeCe and BC because I was an idiot and lent them over $1,000 to pay their heating bill before it got warm. I also stopped babysitting for CeCe when they fell behind on their payments by a week just like I said that I would. They've paid over half of it back at $75/week, and are up-to-date, now; but now their car is broken. They did manage to get their house painted while they were behind, and that ticked me off to no end; but it's my own damn fault, like I explained to CeCe. I lent my cushion, and that was a mistake. BC is working side jobs to earn more money, though; so things will improve, and I'm sure they will pay me back. I'm not sure we'll remain friends, but I think we might just pull it off. Still, "NEVER AGAIN!"

I did finally go in the house because I figured my white t-shirt might just be completely see-through. Kept thinking about wet t-shirt contests and whether or not I'd win. Big Negatory on that one.... unless going for "natural boob size."

I was up on Friday, June 18th (BB's 25th Birthday) at 5:30am. That was the plan, and I'm glad I did it that way. I had time alone to get so much done while it was still cool. It also gave me enough time to cook everything and let the house cool down before everyone showed up. It was nice. I was tired but plugged away thinking of my grandmas up early in the morning doing stuff.

I got all the cooking done by 7:30am. My chicken for the Chicken Salad was cooling in the frig along with the pasta for the Caprese Pasta Salad. I'd put the three layers of cake in the freezer. The house was cooling down nicely, and I was very happy that the 90 degree day that was supposed to have thunderstorms might just work out fine.

It wasn't long before BB was up and headed to the shower. He was pleased that I had gotten the cooking done; and that, the house was cooling down again. He was still clueless about his "Toy Story 3" themed 25th Birthday Party. I guess he thought I was kidding when I said that I was going to do it because "toy Story 3" was opening on his b-day. Silly BB. I figured that I would do my last full-blown "kid party" and get it out of my system.

I went gonzo on the cake. I used my Martha Stewart star-shaped cake pans and built a three-layer yellow cake with chocolate frosting and sprinkles. There were 25 candles on the cake consisting of 13 that made up the words, "Happy Birthday" and 12 sparkler candles in blue, red, green and yellow. I've got three white sparkler candles left. OF COURSE I found the "Happy Birthday" candles ON SALE at the Walmart in my home town way back when I was taking care of Dad after his surgery.

On a whim, I bought some balloons at Party City on Thursday. That only cost me $5.90. There was a pack of yellow and light blue "Toy Story" balloons for $1.99. I added a red 2 and a red 5 to the bunch, et voila!; ordered on Thursday and picked up on Friday.

The crowning glory to the "Toy Story 3" themed party was the birthday hat I found for BB. I scoured Party City for cowboy hats and space helmets, but couldn't find any that I liked and could afford. While looking I came across some beanies with twirly things on top, but they were cheap. It did get me thinking, though. I wandered over to the hat aisle and came across BB's Birthday Hat: a red, green, yellow, and blue baseball cap with a green brim and a twirly thing on top. "I don't wanna grow up" is printed on the front, too! ... and of course, the best part is that it was On Sale for $7.50! TA DA! Done!

We did surprise BB as planned. Can't believe we pulled it off right under his nose, but then again; he's BB. My poor granddaughter started crying when everybody yelled surprise, but she calmed down enough to take a bit of a nap soon enough; and then it was time for cake.

"How many candles are on it?" BB asked while I was preparing to light the candles.

"25. Between the 'Happy Birthday' and sparklers, there are 25."

Everybody started counting candles and talking about how long it was going to take to light the candles and have the house catch fire. My daughter and one of the crew members found the fireplace matches when BB told them where they were.

"I've been looking for those for ages!" I exclaimed.

"It takes three seconds per candle," the crew member declared while the three of us were setting the candles ablaze.

"Hurry up! My cake's going to be all wax!" BB urged as we got the last candles lit.

A quiet, sleeping baby version of "Happy Birthday" was sung and BB blew out his candles after a few attempts while SA's sister informed him, "Sparkler candles relight. I had them, and it was so annoying." We laughed and watched him successfully extinguish the entire lot.

"Whoa. That was intense," said my daughter, "It was like Mission Impossible candle blowing."

I couldn't help but to start singing the Mission Impossible Theme and was joined by a few.

Everybody's pieces of cake were too big. :D There was ice cream, too, of course.

After the party, there was still some more shooting to do, so cast and crew headed back down to the basement to finish up while I cleaned up with help from SA's friend, DB. All shooting was finished before the storm hit.

It was an action-packed day filled with many ups and downs, literally. Mostly ups which is pretty great except in the case of flying gazebos.

So here's a bit of what I wrote to my best friend the other day. I figured it's a way to get caught up and not jack my reader's around too much.

It's Monday morning, and I really do need to rest a bit more, so out! Besides, I need to erase the fact that it is Monday; and that, my payment is late again. Just remember, "I'm an idiot - sometimes." If all goes well, though, I should be paid off by August 1st. I'll focus all my positive energy on that one and await the fall out from friends and family over my stupidity. sigh. I just couldn't let the kids be cold. You know, "No good deed goes unpunished." Oh well.

Back Pain

Sorry for the late post. Technically, it's been 48 hours since I last sat down to write anything here. Back Pain. It's hard to write with back pain.

Yesterday was a bit stressful, but my bro saved me and mine. YAY BRO! I'm so grateful that crew and cast are going to be staying at his home while away finishing up their location shots.

Can't really believe that the first week of production is done; and that, we're barreling into the second week starting this morning at around 7:30. The first week went very well here at the house. Can't believe the house is still clean after having so many people in it for a week. Here's to an excellent crew and cast for picking up after themselves and making my experience so wonderful.

Our home was used for kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, basement and front door scenes. It took five days to get all the shots here. The days were not long, either. Great planning by SA. Days usually start around 9am and end around 4pm with a break for lunch. After the day's shooting is done, SA & BB settle in to capture the footage and back it up, so their days are a bit longer. Still, it's been a very nice shooting schedule, so far.

Today's shoot at a local deli will be short; only about three hours. The only equipment being used is the camera and the tripod. The bonus is that we will be getting food from the deli for lunch. The sandwiches from the deli are awesome. Yum.

I'm going to cut it short since I'm still a bit nauseous. Back pain does that, you know. Besides, I need to get some more sleep to prepare for today's shoot.

Here we go Week 2!

Guess I Was Tired

For all my grand plans for yesterday, I ended up sleeping most of the day away. Really didn't feel well. Had a low-grade fever and ached all over, so I gave in to my body and slept. Guess I needed it.

I was up at 6:30 this morning and feeling refreshed. It's now 8:20, and soon the crew will be here for their 9am Call. I've still got to shower, but that's about it. The place is cool 'cause I started running the A/C when I got up. I want to try to combat some of the heat the lights will put off during the day.

SA has bought some frozen pizzas for lunch today, to that will take care of that. I'll be in the basement getting ready for Friday's shoot and going to the grocery store later to get supplies for Friday's Lunch.

I'm worried about Friday's Lunch. If everyone shows up, the place could be really crowded. It's supposed to be in the low 90's with thunderstorms, so ... HELP! Still, it will be what it will be. Onwards and Upwards.

This may be the day that I do two posts simply because who knows what grand events will take place during the shoot. We'll see. For now this is it. Quick and simple.

Take care. Keep plugging away. Shower's open! Gotta run!

Tired and Content

Sitting and staring at walls and walking through my clean house sounds like just the thing for today, but the nagging inside my head won't let me completely enjoy the moment of peace. There are three more days of shooting and the weather is supposed to get very hot. Add lighting to the mix, and I'm worried. Can the A/C be on between takes? Where to plug in everything. Are the lighting set-ups figured out; so that, they can be quickly set-up and tested? Are all the camera angles established for the same reasons?

HOLD IT! This is a SA/BB Production. Of course the lighting and camera set-ups are set. Of course they're going to work as quickly as possible. Of course they know where they're plugging in everything. Of course they're thinking about the weather, too. We'll talk at some point today and pool our thoughts because I'm fully committed to being a quality Location Manager and they're committed to being the best they can be, too.

I may not be getting money for this experience, but it is something to put on my resume. It's more than that, though. It's fun.

There are so many things I like about productions. Weaving my way through people, furniture and equipment is one of them. Don't know why, really. It's just fun. It's exhilarating to wind through my house full of people all focused on getting stuff done in a calm, professional way. The space necessitates that people work together to get things done quickly.

From my limited working experience, I've never found a profession that places so much emphasis on being nice. Now, I know that not all successful film professionals are nice. I just know that the best productions that I've worked on have been nice. This has resulted in the projects getting done most pleasurably. I even think the quality is there. I could go on and on about all the nuances of making a production successful, but well, I'm feeling really lazy this morning. Besides, I have stuff to do.

I'm off to write lists, fold clothes, put away dishes, and DO MY BACK EXERCISES! My left achilles is sore from the way I sat yesterday while writing. Bad posture habits are getting to me. At least I had enough dance training to counter my bad habits.

OK, off to do stuff. Also want to mention that it is my only siblings birthday today. Today's post isn't dedicated to him because I didn't dedicate the blog to my daughter or my niece on their birthdays, so I'll stick with that for now. Course this means that I won't be dedicating my blog post to BB's birthday on Friday, either ... or will I?

Take care of yourselves. You are loved.

"Quiet on the set."

Production is underway. Sounds of C-clamps and C47's mingle with the din of three conversations taking place at once. It's a controlled din. It's frenetic multitasking at it's best. I know it's at its best because I hear the laughter.

During breakfast the crew and actors were asked to write down their lunch order; so that, their lunch would arrive on time. Three crew members graciously repositioned their care; so that, I can get out of my driveway in BB's car. Lacey curtains were brought up from the basement, and aid was given to both lead actresses. SA was properly teased only after she teased me.

"BB! SA teased me," I tattled in front of the whole crew and cast.

"OK," he acquiesced.

"SA, come here," I directed while walking into my "so clean you gotta wear shades" kitchen. Pointing to the dust, dirt and grime in the space where the dishwasher usually sits; I said, "FAIL!"

"No! It can't be!" SA feigned and crumpled to the living room floor while I continued to point at her and make explosion sounds ending in my best demented, wicked witch laugh.

SO THAT WAS 7 HRS AGO ----

It's been a beautifully busy day. The first day of shooting is wrapping an hour and a half early! Let's hear it for a job well done!

From my experience, in the "real world" when this much laughing and goofing around takes place; bosses start bitching about productivity. Silly, silly bosses. This is the way to work. Granted it's not possible everywhere, nor is it appropriate. It's just wonderful to be in this environment, and I hope that I can do it more often.

All announcements have been well received, and now the packing up banter is going on. Cast and Crew will be back on Thursday.

Sweet dreams, All. Need to go wrap up some costume stuff, etc. :D

"Moving Right Along"

Yesterday's post was cathartic. I indulged myself in about five hours of writing and editing. I usually edit something like that twice before posting. I've reread it and decided it could us a bit more editing. Maybe someday, but not today.

Today is all about action. It is Monday. It is the day before shooting begins in our home. There is a lot of cleaning and clearing to be done. I also have a few personal things to do.

Personal List:

1. Do back exercises - The massage I got yesterday to alleviate some of my lower back and hip pain actually made it worse. Dang. Really wasn't expecting that to happen. Oh well. Onwards and Upwards.

2. Eat well.

3. Drink plenty of water.

That's really it for the Personal List. Not bad.

CLEANING/CLEARING LIST

1. Clear back room and find a place for everything to go. Whew. This is going to take some thought and a lot of physical labor. Can't wait for the garage sale in July.

2. Clean the kitchen. Pretty quick and easy. Must include the refrigerator because will need room for Production food.

3. Clean the bathroom. Quick and easy.

4. Clean the office. AHHHHHHHHHHH! It is going to house the equipment! So much to do! Breathe, 2, 3, 4 ....

5. "Free" the small refrigerator, clean it, and get it set up somewhere to stock food and drink for crew and actors. Being a Technical person, Crew always comes before Actors in my book.

6. Vacuum the whole place.

7. Fold the laundry; all five baskets full. sigh. We'll watch a movie for this, or I'll watch a movie for this.

8. Buy food stuff for the crew and actors. SA asked me to be the Craft Services person last night, and I said yes. SA is going to do the shopping.

9. Wash Mom's Moo Moo, so it will be ready for the fitting tomorrow. I think Mom might have made this Moo Moo when she was pregnant with my brother. It's a funny thing to still have of hers, but I do. I remember her in it so well. It's really very pretty and very well constructed. Isn't Moo Moo a funny word? I'll probably be working on something today and just let a "Moo Moo" slip. That will make me chuckle because I'll think of my mom in her moo moo and about one of my best friends and her collection of cows. Cows. I know, right? My daughter does frogs, and so does my "Born-Again Uncle and Godfather."

10. Clear space in the basement and dress the area being used in the shoot.

I think that's about it for today. The camping gear still needs to go to the laundromat, but that can happen next week while the shoot is at other locations in the suburbs and in the city. It might be nice to go to the city, but it isn't necessary; or is it? Oh Goodness.

I wonder if SA wants me to be Craft Services for the entire production before it heads up north? Oops. Will have to ask. SA? I know you're reading this.

(About 10 minutes later)

BB is up and in the loo. I'm sticking with an "OO" theme today. Moo Moo, Loo, Boo, Do!

On that note, me and my back are headed out to destroy ourselves for SA.

SA WASHED MY CABINETS! I will now destroy myself and my back for her. Ah, face it, add SA to the list of "People I'd Split A Vein For." She's been there for a while. Maybe even before she started dating BB, but that's yet another story. Truly adorable, though. I consider it one of my greatest gifts. Yep. There's another list and a few more stories. It's all about the stories.

We'll be entering a Production Story phase. The title of the project is yet to be disclosed because it is registered with the WGA under BB's real name. Yes, I know. But the only people who really know this is me ... and I mean ME! ... are friends and family that pop by. There may just be "others" who are reading. Shoot. The "others" are friends and family, in some cases.

Quite frankly, remember, for everything that I divulge here, there are more that you'll never know. I like it like that. I want to be like My Grandma Corbin who provided so many stories. I could literally spend my life writing stories inspired by my family and friends. It has been a very full life. Hiding out in my home writing about it and staying safe sounds so good to me. Just have to get my back in shape for all the sitting. Whoa. That's a new approach. LOL

I must also remind my readers that I love to lie. I believe in lying. I believe in combining dishonesty with honesty. I tell you this to prevent you from falling into "true story" trap. For dramatic effect and pacing, even my last story about my time in the hospital had "compilation characters" and made up dialogue with many events left out and some inserted that may or may not have happened as depicted. Dang. I'm writing a disclaimer to my blog. Might have to emphasize this in the blurb about it.

OK, I'm completely indulging myself and making BB nervous. This is not good. I'm off filled with thoughts to keep my mind active while "toting that barge" and "lifting that bale." Remember to lift from the knees - shit! No Wonder my knees are so bad. No, I was born with bad knees. Shit. Gotta get rid of this belly, and I've got just the way to do it. Aren't I lucky. LOL

OH! AND!

11. Clean and dress BB's bedroom!

Off!

Numb

Because the lower half of my body was was in pain and numb all at the same time, this is my post. It hurts to sit. I can be up and moving, or I can be horizontal. Sitting is not good no matter if I'm using the desk chairs, the core ball, my bed, a kitchen chair or the leather easy chair.

This is going to make blogging interesting.

Of course, this means that I am now moving around after sleeping most of the day. The sleeping and moving around has helped. I'm off to move around some more.

Found out that our house is being used to film in starting the 14th. LOL - OK, then. Well, the metal cabinet in the office is now an equipment cabinet. The office is becoming a film office. Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Hope all are having a wonderful weekend. I am.

OK, up with me. Sweet dreams. Be safe1

Fantastic Four!

Today has been a HUGE day.

1. My daughter surprised me with a call and invitation to go to the "rocket park." She brought my granddaughters over, and away we went eventually because ...

2. I got caught up in doing some more research for some writing, so getting ready to go was delayed. My daughter picked out a good play outfit for me while telling me, "It's like having ANOTHER child, Mother." I really should learn to stop doing what I'm into and be more responsible. Really. Definitely when it comes to seeing my daughter, granddaughters and son-in-law; at least. I'll work on it. :D

3. My son got his lens adapter today. He is in Film Geek Heaven. I'll spare you, unless you would like to know about things like HVX, and 1/72 versus 1/84, and more "Letters & Numbers Stuff" that I'm not even sure about. I'm just very happy for my boy who has new "toys" that are really tools. You know the difference between tools and toys, right?

4. My brother got his driver's license back today after eight years of going without. Lesson: Don't Drink & Drive - AND - Life is full of changes, so work hard, do your best, relax, have some fun and just let the good happen. He's done quite a bit of good, hard work on himself and on behalf of others since he sobered up. He's had to accept the loss of some relationships because of his behavior when he was drinking and drugging. He had to make a "loud popping sound" to salvage what he could of his life. He's done pretty darn well. I'm very happy for him. He does deserve to have his license back. I'm happy for his wife and our parents, too. His ability to drive is going to help them, too.

Oh, the back stories behind the four events are all wonderful, but my back and hip are YELLING at me LOUDER than my dear, dear youngest granddaughter. I spent quite a while doing a bit of research on her behalf and have a few thoughts; such as, reading Dr. Harvey Karp's, "The Happiest Baby on the Block" book, getting the DVD from the library, and letting her parents know what I've found out. Poor dear cries so much and is so tense. I know this will pass.

I did get her to relax at the park by doing a "four-count" bouncy dance-walk in the shade. She was smooshed against my belly and breast. I've decided that certain MeeMas are fat; so that their granddaughters can be enveloped in cuddles and coos. You know how it goes; Dance-walking to a 4/4 beat while describing all the stuff around us in my "valium voice." Something about a soothing, smooshy MeeMa. Not exactly motivation to lose weight, but well, at least it's not a reason to hate myself, either.

May 27, 2010 has been a very good day - save some serious pain - but this too shall pass just like the four major good events that happened today. That's what going forward is all about, you know. Guess this is kinda the "Cliff Notes Version of Today."

I wonder what tomorrow will hold. I'm going to make it a very good day because it's another huge anniversary day; 22 years ago the kids and I left LA and moved in with my parents on May 28, 1988. It was the beginning of a new life, but more about that later.

For now, I'm moving forward bolstered by four wonderful events and some fantastic research on behalf of my many loved ones; whether they know it or not. Remember to hang in there, People. There's no way I could've predicted that in two days my world could turn around so dramatically. I did hang in with thoughts of better times, so maybe my positivity had a bit to do with it.... NAH! The ups and downs are a bit tiring, but that's the way my life seems to go. I'm glad that I've learned to ride out the storms and see what the mornings bring.

OH, and let's all take a moment of quiet to think good thoughts, meditate, pray and/or whatever on behalf of the many creatures who could use a good thought and more these days. Here's to capping the oil well in the Gulf, lots of ice for the Polar Bears, plenty of food and water for everyone on this planet, the end to all war, and clean air. Here's to going Forward for 50 More Posts!

Yep. Forward @ 50 just had it's 50th Post. Pretty Great Day Today.

extra! extra! read all about it! - Part 2

my apologies to my readers. my nap turned into an all night affair. guess i was plum tuckered out.

extra! extra! read all about it! - Part 2

As I got the vehicle secured, I continued to talk about getting oil. Norma listened and offered that she could take me home because it was on her way home. I accepted her offer.

"CVS would have motor oil," I said to Norma as we sat at the light at Chicago & Ogden looking at the CVS, "Could we pull in and try it? Would that be OK?"

Norma looked at the CVS, "OK. It would be better to try it now. I can do that."

"Thank you, Norma," I replied while hanging up the phone.

I'd called my son and my son's girlfriend because I wanted her dad to call me. He races Porsches, so I figured he might even know someone with a tow truck or at least there was some local help. She was up in Wisconsin with my son.

Since both calls went directly to voice mail, I did the dreaded and called my dad.

"Dang it! Dang it! Dang it!" I thought while dialing the number.

"Couldn't you call your daughter?" Norma asked after I explained that I really didn't want to call Dad and get him worried.

"No. It's her birthday, and she's got enough on her plate," I answered knowing that this was another birthday present to her fulfilling my wish that she have a "do-nothing" day on her birthday.

As Norma made the necessary turns into the CVS Pharmacy, I got through to Dad, "Dad. Hey. Are the kids with you?" I asked and listened with great anticipation and hope for a positive answer, but he told me that they weren't; and that, he didn't expect to see them for an hour or so. I gave him the same message that I'd left for them about having her dad call me, told him I had to go because I was in the middle of handling the situation.

While gathering the three quarts of 5W/30W oil, a funnel, and a roll of paper towels; my son's girlfriend called back. I explained in halting sentences while looking for the necessary materials explaining what I was doing, what had gone wrong, and telling her to call her dad and give him my number. Just after I grabbed the roll of paper towels and interrupted Norma as she asked the Pharmacist where the paper towels were; my son's girlfriend called back and said that her dad was driving back from Black Hawk. She also told me that he wouldn't answer the phone while he's driving and wouldn't be home for about an hour, at least.

"OK. Well, think good thoughts," I said and hung up the phone, "Norma? You're thinking good thoughts, right?"

"Yep!" she chirped.

I whipped out my cash so forcefully that I discombobulated the cashier. It was all that happy coming out. I was happy to have "walking around" money. I didn't care what the supplies cost. I was just happy to have the money and to be going back to try my plan. I was happy I'd met Norma; and that, she was so wonderfully willing to try my plan as evidenced by her ownership of the situation. I was happy to have help from such a capable and communicative person.

When I'd told her that her words were really helping, she shared that she'd experienced panic attacks, too. She'd been to her doctor, and was following the advice that she'd come to learn worked; breathe deeply and take one thing at a time.

We had incorporated this advice into our approach to our challenge. Yes, it was now our challenge because Norma wasn't going to leave me behind and realized that not only did I need to try my hand at solving this problem; but that, it was logical to do so. This made me very happy, too. Each little bit of happy dispelled some of the nervousness, but the nervousness was still my primary feeling.

We got to the car and worked as a team getting a quart of oil into the engine. While we did it, I showed Norma where the oil cap was and tested the oil again many times. I turned the key, depressed the accelerator, and Nothing. I got out. We agreed some more oil. Norma started talking about pulling her car in front of mine again. I agreed to that thinking that hooking the cars up again was probably the way to go. I didn't tell Norma that I thought this. I was taking it one step at a time. Our next step was to put more oil in and hook up the cars.

"OK. Now think good thoughts. This will work," Norma said with her hand held over the jumper cable grips connected to her car.

"OK," I replied and held my hand over the grips connected to my car.

We stood there for a moment. Norma looked so peaceful and confident. There was a battle raging inside me. My positive, confident feelings were being annoyed and nagged at by Doubt. I focused on letting my doubts go, but I wasn't entirely successful before I took my hand away. I walked around to the driver's side and looked at Norma.

"Think good thoughts," she said, "It will work."

Norma continued to bless her battery and it's connection to my car's battery. I waited for her to start her car. I waited some more.

"Norma?"

"Yes?"

"You have to start your car."

"Oh," she chuckled.

She returned to the front of her car and suggested I start mine. I was stalling to get a bit-o-juice in the engine and told her so. In a little bit, I tried my car. Nothing.

"I'm not sure if revving the car works, but how do you feel about it?" I asked as I headed to meet Norma.

"What?"

"Revving your car."

"Revving?"

"You know. Make your car's engine go faster."

"Oh!" Norma responded and headed to her car.

I headed to my car and waited for a bit. I tried. Nothing. I hung my head.

"PLEASE!" I thought, took a breath and tried again.

IT STARTED! IT STARTED! IT STARTED! IT STARTED! IT STARTED!

I was afraid to take my foot off the pedal, but I scrambled out of the car and rushed towards Norma. The jumper cable separated us. I unhooked my car and tried to hand them to Norma.

"No!" she said.

"Hold 'em," I said and held them far apart as I put them in her hands.

I unhooked her car, took the jumper cables, looked at the cables, looked at Norma, made a funny face, tossed the cables on the grass and HUGGED Norma. I gave her such a bear hug. I did my best not to smother her. We hugged HUGELY Twice. The air was filled with our laughter and my 'thank yous'. The whole time I couldn't help thinking about my Facebook status just the night before about being "smarter than the average bear." I couldn't help chuckling more. Duh, duh, duh, duh - Duh!

"May I follow you home? You know how to get on the freeway, right?"

"Sure."

We gathered up our stuff. Norma brought my coffee mug to me. She pulled out and waited. I followed her all the way to the 94 split. She headed up 94. I headed up 41. She never let me out of her sights for long while I was following her. She led beautifully. I talked to my son's girlfriend because her phone gets better reception than his, and told her that I'd call when I got home. I reveled in driving my car home knowing full well that it had too much oil in it now; and that, my previously planned trip to Chuck's would happen this upcoming week.

"Besides," I thought, "I need a reliable car for the shoot. Wish I had a dog. Maybe Beau. No. He's not trained. Sure would be nice if he was. Oh well. I'm DRIVING MY CAR HOME!"

I smiled, played my Little Feat "Waiting for Columbus" cassette and drove straight home where I parked my car so the battery would be easily accessible should I need another jump. Happily, the car started twice after I got it parked.

There were a flurry of phone calls after I got home. I had to check in with everyone who was aware of my predicament and thank them for their willingness to help. I had to leave messages for my daughter telling her that I'd gotten at least one day's worth of work. I had to work off the adrenaline. One of my favorite comments was from my brother who had the perfect response to my, "Isn't this just typical me?"

"Yep."

Yep. This is typical me. No wonder my nerves are a bit shot after all these years. Glad it's not worse.

I've discovered oil on the garage floor. The car has an oil leak that I didn't know about until today. Technically, it's another two thousand miles til my next needed oil change.

I'm pretty sure I left the lights on given my nerves and the arrival of the older, good-looking man when I arrived at the Open Extras Casting Call. Oops.

What I know is that Norma and I have one day's worth of work on "Cheaters" (link below)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1578275/

simply because we showed up in Blackhawks t-shirts. We're both investing in our futures.

I called Norma to let her know that I was home safely in my kitchen about an hour after I'd gotten home. She had just arrived home. We talked for a good while and learned more about each other. We're planning on going to the Transformers Open Extras Casting Call together on June 4th. I'll give her gas money. She doesn't know she's driving yet, but I'm sure she won't mind. It's being held at the Chicago Academy for the Arts, too. We're planning on getting there earlier and getting out earlier.

I'm so hoping that this summer I get called to set a lot. It would be so nice to say that in these economic times when I've face rejection for over a year that what finally put me to work was "The Entertainment Industry." Wouldn't that just be a great thing for a former Welfare Mother who had the audacity to get her degree in Technical Theatre being only a semester away from her degree in Acting/Directing and having worked for seven years as a cable company employed Television "Do Everything" Public Access Producer? Wouldn't it be nice for her children who were dragged through college with her, to the studios, and location shoots? Wouldn't it be nice for my parents, friends, and other family members to see something good happen to me in "The Entertainment Industry."

I know, respect, and love almost everything about my chosen field of study. I actually fit in quite well even though there are quite a few mean people in my field, too. I've experienced enough of the mean people in my field to have stayed away for a long time. It's just that I've learned more, now, and have decided that I'm stronger and able to handle the bullshit better. At my best, I take a deep breath and focus on one thing at a time.

Thank You, Norma Tan! As I told you, "You've done your good deed for the month and are even entitled to a few really grouchy and unreasonable days!" I'm looking forward to our next adventure which will include some coffee or something instead of a car repair seminar. We'll keep the teamwork thingie going.

To my daughter on her birthday - I did this for you. All the goofy happenings were just a part of your goofy mother's life. I went to the Open Extras Casting Call on your birthday to overcome one of my biggest fears because I wanted to give you a mother who is capable of overcoming her fears and fulfilling another dream. I did it! Whether I do it on purpose or simply by breathing, I know I embarrass you and have embarrassed you throughout the years. When I do it on purpose, well; that's funny, sometimes. When it's just because "I yam what I yam", well; that's heartbreaking, infuriating, annoying, and in many cases; motivating. I have given you an example of a fearful woman who has let bigotry, meanness, and self-doubt get the better of her. I had to change that. I hope that this one goofy experience might go to show you that while you may not understand or even approve, once upon a time your mother set out on a mission to overcome what she thought of as her biggest fear. She's happy to report that it turned out better than she expected. Carpe Diem, Chicklet. I love you with every breath I take. Keep being stronger than your mother. Every good parent wants their child to do better than they have. You'll see. Also know that pushing to overcome fears is worthwhile no matter what the circumstances or timing. It can turn out to be too late, but for the most part that's what creatures do. Every second of every day there are creatures all over the world that are overcoming fears. It's nice to fit in somewhere. (wink - rim shot)

That's it, my fine friends and family. It is 8:33am. I've been up since 6:30am. Go figure. Time to get my morning sun. Time to clean off my hammock. Probably time to take a shower and take off the Blackhawks t-shirt, too. Time to have a day filled with no dramatic ups and downs. Remember, one of my goals in life is Boring. Maybe a few more people know why, now.