State of the Union

This semester in school I decided to take the one course that got me into school again; Digital Video Editing. Learning Final Cut Pro has been on my "To-Do List" for quite a while. I was very happy to see that it was offered during the Spring Semester.

Back in May of 2003 a log house was moved in the community that I worked in. I had heard about the plans to move it two years prior and had started making inquiries back then about the possibility of taping it when it happened. So in reality, I started planning and working on this project back in 2001. It's been a decade. Wow.

In any case, I got permission and organized the shoots and post-production plans. There were many days of shooting to be organized because I thought it would be interesting to get all the background footage about how a house is moved and all the interviews about why the move was important. The day of the move, May 3, 2003, would be the most intensive day of shooting, and I organized shot lists for five camera operators on that day. It was a thrilling and trying experience, but I did it.

After all the shooting was done, all my post-production people told me that they were too busy to help. I was cut off at the knees and had no support from my supervisor who had guaranteed that this would be a departmental project that I would organize. It was my first digital project, and I had been relying on other co-workers who were more experienced than I was to make this project successful. I floundered.

On November 3, 2003, I was called to a meeting with a few other co-workers where we were told that we were being laid off on December 3, 2003. We were told that we could use the month to finish up any projects we had going, but that we didn't have to. I decided to finish up the Log House Project, but when I showed up at work to do just that; I was told to go home and that I wasn't needed. I asked if I could come in and work on it as an Access User and was told that Access Users didn't have access to the digital editing systems. I was dumb-founded.

Now this is where Life took over. You see, my children were ill. My family needed my full attention, so I dove in and did what I could to insure that they would recover from their illnesses and left all my projects and other dreams behind. I had a Severance Package that included company-paid-for Health Insurance for eighteen months. I focused on my family so much that I almost lost myself in the process, but the upside was that my children did recover; so I was a happy, exhausted mom.

Fast-forward to present day and you find me with all or most of the original footage from the Log House shoot that I now own the copyrights to. I also own the copyrights to a few other prime pieces of footage as a result of my forethought. You see, I knew that the tapes would be recycled because nobody that I worked with would recognize the historical importance of what I had on tape. I've been informed that a copyright attorney has stated that after five years, if the company has made no attempt to recover the tapes that they belong to me along with the copyrights. I really was preserving these tapes for history because I just couldn't let the tapes be callously recycled resulting in losing all that information and hard work. It was an "Executive Decision" that I put into place as soon as I started getting wind of "what was going on at work."

I packed up the most important tapes before I was told that I would be laid off. I took those tapes to my home for safe keeping just in case I was let go. I wish I had included the Rahm Emanuel tapes, but at least I included the Barack Obama tapes along with Karl Malden and Nicholas Evans. I also included all six episodes of "High School Today", an educational talk show featuring students from the four area high schools that we served that I produced and helped students create using their own criteria. I included other projects that I was proud of and/or had some sentimental attachment to including the Log House Tapes where BB was Head Cameraman.

Have you ever worked at a job where people bitch and moan about the people they work with and serve producing an ugly arrogance and egotism that is counter-productive? Have you ever been the brunt of unkind jokes during a departmental meeting that originate with your supervisor? Have you ever sat in a departmental meeting where your supervisor's supervisor makes crass sexist remarks about objectifying women and there are women at the meeting? Have you ever been blamed for not performing your job by your supervisor when that same supervisor made it impossible for you to perform your job? Have you ever been set up to fail by your supervisor? I have.

The environment that I left was unhealthy to say the least. It still hurt like hell, though.

So now a decade later with a reputation that is in the garbage, I am finally going to gain the skills to do what I always wanted to do and got side-tracked from; finish the Log House documentary. I'm not confident in all of my skills, but I am confident that I can learn and improve. My writing has improved and so has my "eye" for what makes a film work. I am ruthless when it comes to editing and pacing. I am confident that I can do what I need to do. I know that I have more than enough footage to work with and even more ideas on how to put it all together. I know that I am not happy with the lighting on some of the shots. I know that it will have to do. I know a lot about this piece. I also know that once it is finished that I will donate a copy of the finished product and selected raw footage to the community's historical society that now owns and operates the Log House Living Museum. I will also donate copies of the finished piece to the local school districts for their use should they decide to incorporate it into their curriculum.

I am happy to be in Digital Video Editing with the instructor that I have. He is straight-forward, business-like, and knowledgeable from my first impression. The necessary equipment is at the school so that I can digitize all my footage. I will be "living" at school again. It will be interesting to see how I do this given my new schedule, but I'm increasingly flexible and consider this a part of "Unionizing" myself.

You see, because I wanted to focus so intently on Digital Editing this semester, I decided to only sign up to be a part-time student this semester. This still meant that I needed three more credit hours to fill my schedule. I looked through the catalogue and discovered that Yoga and T'ai Chi Chih fit - FINALLY! I have to admit that I thought that I was signing up for T'ai Chi Ch'uan, but I do have a book on T'ai Chi Ch'uan; and the T'ai Chi Chih class is quite energizing and enlightening. It will do.

I have long held the belief that I am not employable because of my age, weight and general unhealthy appearance. I recognized that I needed to get in shape physically, mentally and spiritually. I have a long and varied history with various spiritual practices and have yearned to take yoga and T'ai Chi for years hoping that they would help me incorporate Balance into my life. My desire to do some form of physical mediation and strengthening comes from my knowledge that when I dance I feel the closest to God.

Dance is what lifts me to the highest heights. I once had someone tell me that I looked as though I was on a Spiritual High when I danced. I was grateful that the person recognized it. I am saddened that I have let my body go and had so many broken bones because it inhibits my ability to dance the way I picture moving in my mind.

Through yoga, T'ai Chi Chih, other exercises and a healthier diet I hope to rediscover me again. I hope to find the Balance that I seek. I hope to become employable. I hope to be a healthier person on all fronts. I know that I will be a better role model and more capable of taking on the challenges that await me. I'm doing this for myself and by doing it for myself I will show my children and grandchildren that it's never too late to become the person you are meant to become, not is it too early. I an all about "unionizing" my family through Balance, Compassion, and Courage. I don't really think they know what they're in for, nor do I have all the answers at this time or know where this path will take me; I'm just confident that The State of the Union will improve the more I focus on mastering the skills that I am learning this semester in school. I'm already witnessing it and benefiting from my new found determination and understanding. I'm enjoying the challenge and the "good pain"; I feel alive again.