Happy Birthday, Carolyn! Love You!

I met Carolyn in my dorm room way back in 1979. It's the most memorable meeting I've ever had.


Unlocking my door at 7am, I entered to find that my roommate hadn't made it home the night before either. This was particularly disturbing because someone was sleeping on the roll-away! There was a stranger in my room sleeping on my roll-away. I couldn't tell if the person was a boy or a girl. All I could see was the fuzzy bit of afro poking out from the covers. I touched the person's shoulder, but there was no response. I shook the person's shoulder.
"Fuck you!" a hoarse voice yelled.
"Fuck you, too! What the hell! Who the hell are you, and what are you doing in my room?"

I stormed out of my room, slammed the door, and stopped. I turned around and stood outside my dorm room door with fists clenched.

"What the hell am I doing out here?!" I thought, "That's my room. What am I doing out here, and they're in there?

I went back into my room and stood over the person. The person mumbled and pulled the covers over their head.

"Excuse me," I said quietly, "Who are you?"

The person didn't respond. I waited some more and loudly repeated my question. I waited for a response. I didn't want to shake the person again. That hadn't done any good. I didn't want to keep standing there like a fool, but I waited. Finally, the person rolled over and looked up at me with one squinty eye.

"Who are you?" the person whined.

"I live here. Who are you?"

"Kathi said I could sleep here."

"Oh, you know Kathi?"

"Yeah."

"Well where is she?"

"I don't know."

"Oh. Well, I'm Michelle."

"I'm Carolyn."

"OK. I'm going to sleep."

"OK. Me, too."

So I guess you could say that the first time I met Carolyn we fucked a couple of times; and then, we slept together." (Rim Shot!)

It's been over 30 years since we met. There's no way I could have predicted that I'd end up being lifelong friends with Carolyn based on our first encounter. In fact, when she kidnapped my black baby doll, and I had to devise a rescue plan that took two days to execute; I was quite sure that I would gladly kill the bitch the next time I saw her.

"Can't have my baby doll 'cause she's black. What the hell does she know. Black. Bullshit. She's mine," I grumbled to myself while remembering how I'd made a fool of myself pounding on her locked door and screaming, "GIVE ME BACK MY BABY DOLL!" Oh, I was going to kill her.

I didn't see her for days after that. Kathi would go down to her room as I glared at her traitorous ass. Kathi just laughed and told me to get over it. I'd hear them laughing down the hall and just get more pissed off than before. Damn bitches.

Somewhere down the road, Carolyn came to my room and apologized. She did. She made the first move 'cause I sure as hell wasn't going to. I'm pretty sure Kathi pressured her into it. I'm also pretty sure Kathi was sick and tired of hearing me bitch.

"She doesn't know shit. I've had this baby doll since I was six years old. I got her the day my 'real-life baby doll' was adopted. She's all I have to remember Kaylynn by. She wasn't black, either! Just 'cause my baby doll's black, she thinks I can't be her mom! How stupid is that! What the hell!"

"Michelle," Kathi said, "It was a joke. Come on. She doesn't know. She would've given her back."

"Yeah right. Big deal. She TOOK my baby doll!"

Kathi would just shake her head, and I'd go on muttering. It wasn't fun.

Things changed after Carolyn came to apologize, and we talked. Things got really fun. The amount of fun we packed into the two years that we were students and eventually roommates in Madison is mind boggling.

Carolyn's birthday is exactly six months opposite of mine. When we met, we were almost completely opposite. Over the years we acquired a few of each other's traits. The funny thing is that if you ask each of us what these traits are, we would describe ourselves as being the quiet one and the other as the loud one. That always makes me laugh. I guess I was loud before I met Carolyn, but I always thought of myself as shy. She felt the same way about herself. I like to think we brought out some of the best in each other. We sure learned to have fun, and if we weren't having fun; we learned how to get through it.


There's just so much to tell about Carolyn and me, but it is late; so I'll leave it at this.

I'm friends with Carolyn today because ...

Her shit-eating grin combined with lying her head off is too funny for words.

She plays Beethoven's Fifth when she's mad and cleaning.

She and Danny fell in love right in front of me.

She has always worked hard.

I like her family - the whole lot of 'em.

She goes down like me and figures out a way to go back up like me.

She had the good sense to "make nice" with my cat, Crystal; so that Crystal would stop leaving Carolyn a poop present every morning in the bathtub.

She loves her children and is a great mom.

She called me when Danny killed himself and asked me to come help her during the funeral.

I respect her.

She gives me strength.

We've learned so much as a result of being friends.

We've had so much fun together.

There's just something about the two of us.  We're so alike; and yet, so different.