It's OK To Be Mad

I'm mad. I'm downright furious.

I remember my favorite basketball player, Bryan Luce, used to play better when he was mad. The coach, Steve Proctor, realized this and used it to his advantage. Coach Proctor would purposefully get Bryan mad if he wasn't playing well. It worked every time. Bryan would go out on the court and tear it up. It was brilliant to behold.

With this in mind, I'm off to do the nastiest of jobs that I can imagine. I will be doing this job alone. Typical.

Not much more to say except, "How much is one person supposed to take in their lifetime? How long do they allow themselves to be a doormat for the people they love the most? How long is life worth living under these circumstances? I'm so sick and tired of living a horrific lie. I'm so sick and tired of all the bullshit. It hurts too much, so to protect myself from the pain; I'll get good and mad."

Bit of advice: Appreciate the people who love you, give all they have to you, and make sacrifices to make your life easier. They may not be there one day when you need them the most. Just a few words of caution.

As far as I can see, and I've looked very deeply and very hard; I've made my amends and done whatever I could to beg forgiveness for my mistakes. I forgiven trespasses that many would never forgive. Why then does the bullshit persist? Remember, it hurts too much. I'm doing my best not to break, but it's getting harder and harder; more painful than I can take.

OK, off to tear into this terrible task. No feeling sorry for myself. No self pity. Just pure rage. It's about time!

Here's to angry tears, screaming grief, and ungodly pain all due to unwarranted rejection and ridicule.