One Step at a Time

So today I enrolled in Summer School at the local community college.  I'm taking one course, so far; Web Design and Development.  I like these computers, and need to build my own website, so ....

I'm considering adding a second course, but haven't figured out if it's going to be Creative Writing or a Early Childhood Education course.  Of course, I could take Intro to Business, too.  I don't know, so I'm holding on that one.

The total cost of my education, so far, is $325.  That will be out-of-pocket unless I get a scholarship or loan.  That's OK.  It's all a part of the plan.

I know the blog has been a bit boring lately filled with more failure and anxiety than success.  I've even dropped the "4-Point Report" Section.  My apologies.  I'm still in the formation phase and subjecting making you suffer through it all. 

It is another case of failure or "falling off the wagon" again.  Maybe failure is too strong a term, but I've never shirked from my failures.  If I shirked from my failures, I would be stuffing a lot of emotions and that is not healthy.

Basically, I've started smoking again.  Less than before, but give me time and I'll be back at a pack a day.  Then again, give me time, and I'll be back down to nothing.  Choices, choices, choices.

I've been eating healthier, but still manage to eat too much "bad" food.  I so love chocolate.  I mean, I really love chocolate.  sigh

I'm pretty cheerful because I've been doing a lot around the house, but my anxiety level is heightened because I'm not spending as much time as I should be applying for jobs. 

That pretty much sums it up.  This is becoming more of an on-line journal than anything of real interest even to me.  Sorry to all of us.  I'm really disappointed in my progress.  I don't really need words of encouragement, but I do thank those of you who have offered them.  Your thoughtfulness buoys me as I stumble through. 

On the upside, I do think that this summer could be one of the best I've ever had here.  I get along with my neighbors fantastically.  My son and I are planning our gardening exploits, and we're both pretty excited about it.  Sometimes I think about selling any extra produce to people.  I also think of doing a lot of canning, so we can eat throughout the year.  I'm getting back to my country roots, and it feels good.  Simple neighborly pleasures seem to make me the happiest.

Every day brings a bit more clarity and fun, so I keep plugging away hoping that I get a job before June 1st.  Frankly, I fully expect to blow it; thus losing out on the elusive $6,000 and having to repay the $3,000.  I think this thought, so I won't completely fall apart when it happens.  Of course, if it doesn't, well so much the better.

Well, it's 11:11, so I'll go.  Until tomorrow's post, take care and keep plugging away.  Living a small life filled with personal meaning and pleasure isn't such a bad thing; in fact, it's pretty darn good.