Feeding the Soul with Action

I didn't post yesterday for a couple of reasons. I started to post in the morning, but it was a boring post about what I was gonna do; and I'm sick of those. I deleted it. By the time I came home at around 8pm, I was vaklempt and exhausted; so I went to bed.

It is now 5:30am on Sunday morning, and I have been up since 3:22am. I do this sometimes, you know.

I finally watched "Portrait" SA's film. It's heartwarming, funny, and even brought a tear to my eye. Some of the shots are just awe inspiring. The acting is good, too. It's headed to the festival circuit, and I'm sending tons of good energy that it makes it into lots of festivals and is well received.

After "Portrait", I watched a Live performance by River of Suns with lead singer, Padric Payton. The song was "Progress", and I liked it so much that I checked out three more songs, "The Spark", "I Can't Shake This Shadow", and "Open the Door." "Open the Door" remains on of my favorite songs. It's speaking to my soul now. It amazes me to watch Padric as a young man. I'm sure some of you can relate to seeing children that you knew way back when they were so little grow into adults and sit spellbound. Seeing him as a young adult and remembering him as a young child mesmerizes me. I guess that's one of the miracles of life, not to get all esoteric and all; but it is a pretty great experience. River of Suns' website is http://riverofsuns.com.

After I'd had my fill of River of Suns, I visited Derek Ramnarace and The Soapbox Project. Derek and Padric have similar yet different music styles. They compliment each other very well and incorporate some of my favorite music genres into their music. I spent a good while with Derek and crew listening to "Carolina", "It's a Shame", and "Holy Man." "Holy Man" is speaking to my soul now, too. Derek Ramnarace and The Soapbox Project are at http://www.thesoapboxproject.com.

(I'm sending a note to the Blogger Help people as soon as I finish writing this because 2/3 of a year is long enough to go without figuring out the whole linking thing.)

Last night I made a wonderful mistake. I thought I'd be babysitting, but I was wrong. As a result, I had a wonderful dinner and visit with my friends and left after about an hour and a half. This is why I returned home vaklempt. Do you ever get that feeling when something and/or someone so good enters your life that while you think you should be all filled with warm fuzzies you're actually choked up? The warm fuzzies are there, but the choked up feeling seems to overtake you, right? I drove home trying to release this choked up feeling and failed.

I did my best to imagine a million little stars set free upon the universe to spread how good I was feeling because feeling choked up seems like holding it inside and not sharing the joy. It felt like if I let all those little stars free into the world that I would explode and cease to exist somehow. Then I thought that maybe that's just what I need to do; I need to stop existing the way that I have been, or at least the sorrowful and confused parts of me. I need to let go - AND - take action.

One of my favorite quotes is by Emerson, "Beware the thinker." I always associate this with beware the person who just sits and thinks and does nothing. It's terrible to get so caught up in analyzing every angle of something to the point where I don't know what to do. My self-confidence ends up being shot because I've spent so much energy in trying to decide what kind of action I should take. Usually during the course of analyzing the situation I also review my past mistakes, so this adds to diminishing my self-confidence. I think that I have thought too many things for too long. I think it is time to take action. For better or worse, it is time that I contact the necessary professionals and run my thoughts past them. It is important, and while it scares me to a degree; I have good reason to take action because it is in everyone's best interest. The inaction and many, many thoughts have taken a toll on me and on my family. It's time to stand up, again. My goal is to do a better job this time. My goal is everyone's health and happiness. Goodness.

So, today I will be doing whatever it is that I do. I have many things to accomplish before Monday's visit. I do hope that people are visiting on Monday and not today, but it wouldn't be so bad to receive a surprise today. Looks like I better get going. Time to take action and crawl out of my introspective self.