The Last Day of Christmas 2010

An exhausted, slimy mess sits at the computer grateful that Christmas has finally ended. It's been a rough one filled with lots of ups and downs.

On the up side:

1. I did get to spend time with my children, grandgirls and SA.

2. I was offered FREE Christmas presents for the grandgirls, so Christmas was "saved" in that respect.

3. The SG1 Marathon on Christmas Eve was pretty cool.

4. Big Girl says that she likes her blanket colors. Whew.

5. Every single member of my family made me laugh, cry (in that good "mom" kind of way), and think good thoughts.

6. The squirt bottle fight with GL was great.

7. BB, while having the "suckiest" Christmas of his life, never let on and SAVED Christmas for our family. I am forever indebted and really don't know how to repay him. OK, I'm tearing up again. He's a brilliant man. I love my son with all my heart. Everyone should be so blessed.

8. Big Girl told me over and over, "I love you so much, MeeMa."

9. The first word out of Little One's mouth to me today was, "MeeMa." She's not quite a year old. Wow. That was a thrill that made my eyes pop. We both smiled huge smiles; and then, she gave me a real, genuine hug.

10. SA was so supportive and humorous. Her card was tender and - wait for it - made me tear up.

11. GL gave me two perfect presents; a fantastic conversation over brunch and a Christmas card that made me cry (those good mom tears). She even wrote in the card, "If you're crying by now, there's Kleenex in the bathroom." Our conversation was ground-breaking and heart-felt. I love my daughter with all my heart. I love her more than I love her children.

12. I was surprised by "The Grinch" and can testify that his heart has AGAIN grown. What a wonderful, generous surprise to kick off my Christmas season. I'm still speechless.

13. My "out-of-state", immediate family was very understanding about not getting a Christmas visit from us, and I can't thank them enough. I'm proud of how flexible, understanding, and down-to-earth my family is. Their support and advice is more a gift than any material item ever could be.

14. There were very few presents for the adult members of the family, and this was OK. It emphasized our strength of character and the love that we have for each other.

15. When Big Girl opened her big present, (a workbench with peg board, chalk board, drawers, cupboard, work surface with measuring tape on the side, roll of paper that pulls over the work surface, vice, and plastic tools); she said, "Where are the tools?" This made all of us laugh because I originally thought it was an Art Station. Silly MeeMa.

16. Big Girl shared her toys with Little One because the Rule is, "If you don't share your toys then you can't play with your sister's toys." :D

17. I'm wearing my Wisconsin Rose Bowl Hoodie that was purchased at The Viking by Dad. I'm sure Mom approved the expenditure, so "Thank You" to both of them. It's warm and fuzzy. It fits perfectly and is just the right weight.

18. My Christmas music collection kicks ass.

19. When I told Big Girl that the Mac 'N Cheese recipe was Great Grandpa's, she said, "It's very good." This might make up for not talking to him on the phone when he called.

20. Great Grandpa did get to talk to Little One, and she said, "OOOOooooo. DaDa." Well, he does have a DaDa voice.

21. Great Grandma got to talk to Big Girl. They had an actual conversation that made Great Grandma laugh.

22. Detente was reached on Christmas Day. Kudos to all for being willing to move forward using all their skills. ;)

23. Even though the Lakers lost, it was nice to have some basketball on in the house on Christmas Day. Brought back lots of good memories. My two favorite players are still Peter "Pistol Pete" Maravich and Kareem "Cap" Abdul-Jabbar. Ronald "Ron-Ron" Artest is my current favorite because of the work he's undertaken to promote Mental Health Awareness, and he's just exciting to watch.

I'll stop there. 23 was Michael Jordan's number, so I'll retire like a winner.

Some day I may write bits about the few times I saw Michael Jordan and other members of the Bulls Championship Teams. Those teams saved me many times when I was going through other rough times. I'm still a Lakers fan at heart, though; and have a good story about when I met Pat Riley.

On the down side:

1. FUCK THE DOWN SIDE. I'm sick of thinking about it, talking about it, and writing about it.

It's time to go start the clean-up. Won't have to buy toys for a year, now. Our living room still looks like "Christmas barfed in it," as GL said. That's good. I'd considered taking it all down today, but I reconsidered such an immediate, total clean-up. The stuff might be up until New Year's or even after. It might come down. I do have the time to finish painting the clouds and .... nah, I've got knitting and crocheting to finish before New Year's Day; Duh.

BB is home from performing his last Christmas task. He is so exhausted that he is sick. Did I mention that he saved Christmas numerous times? Did I mention that he has the broadest shoulders and biggest heart of anyone that I've ever known? OK, so I'm completely biased, and I do know other men who do come through in a pinch; but I take a certain personal pride in BB's abilities because I had a few goals in life, and he's living proof that I've accomplished a few of them. Besides, BB lives with me; so he is called to duty far more often than most.

I am grateful that GL is getting healthier and stronger every day. She's had quite a time of it. It's not over yet, either. Each day she makes incredible strides, though; just like all of us. I also take personal pride in her abilities and accomplishments for the same reasons that I take pride in her brother; they've learned the important lessons in life and continue to shine with compassion and intelligence.

Mostly, I'm proud that I took the time to lay the foundation; so that, they can go out and accomplish things on their own. The true credit is theirs. I raised my children with wings to fly on their own. Flying on your own in my book isn't so much about being financially able to support yourself as it is about being able to make your own decisions and stand by them. Making good decisions takes a lot of work, and sometimes it requires great sacrifice. My children are grown. I may not agree with all their decisions, but I respect them for living their lives the way they see fit. It's their lives to live not mine. My heart may break because of some of the things they've both had to experience because of me or other people, but into every life some hardship and unfairness is bound to enter. "Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome" (the unofficial Marine Corps mantra) is something I hoped that I would be able to impart.

Have to admit that my thoughts weren't based on Marine training but rather on my Theatre and Improv Training. I spent a good amount of time convincing people that being a Theatre Major provided me with a ton of "Transferable Skills." They have helped me win legal battles and be a better parent. They have fine-tuned my abilities to dig deep and do amazing research. They have fostered my love of collaborative work and an overall compassionate approach to life and each creature that is on this Earth. Of course there are other factors that have led to a few of my successes, but again, the Theatre and Improv Training has proven to be more valuable than I ever imagined that it would be.

It doesn't really matter what day a holiday is celebrated. I keep telling myself this. Someday I may really believe it. Someday I will get over my hurt feelings and just move forward. No matter when I see my kids, grandgirls and SA - that day is too wonderful for words. From goofing around to heart-felt exchanges; there is nothing better for me than to be around the two people I trust the most in all the world, GL and BB, and my GrandGirls. They all give me hope.

I still am amazed that today of all days, Little One looked me straight in the eyes and said, "MeeMa"; and then, she reached over and gave me such a big hug. Firsts are always incredible.

Big Girl had a huge first today, too; she listened to my Sharing Rule and accepted it. Firsts are incredible.

BB's first Christmas Dinner was incr-edible, too. Really yummy. I swear that he worked so hard and is so exhausted that now he can't sleep. He says he's not trying to sleep; and that, his whole body aches. It's the first time he's been able to let down emotionally all Christmas Season. It's hard holding this family together sometimes, and I credit him with doing it this year. What an incredible first for a young man with such big dreams. He's paying his dues.

... and GL? Well, this was a hard first for her; and she handled it with grace, strength and dignity while still laughing and moving forward. She is My First, and she is incredible.

Well, that's it for Christmas 2010. It's been a roller-coaster ride, but that's OK; I had a job once where I had to test roller-coasters. I'm a trained professional.