Beau

On March 31, 2011 at approximately 5:30am, Beau died at the foot of my dad's bed. His death was unexpected. The first sign that he was not feeling well came around 9pm on Wednesday the 30th; eight and a half hours later, he was dead. It has been just over twenty-four hours since he first became ill, and sixteen hours since he died.

Our whole family is in shock and has spent the day crying, talking, and staring off into space trying to get our bearings back. We know it will take time. We miss him terribly.

I don't live with Beau, nor do I live in the same town as Beau. I used to live about ten minutes away from him, but now I live three hours away. Except for my children, I've spent the least amount of time with him.

He's lived with my mom, dad and brother since the day he was rescued from a wonderful shelter in what used to be "our" area. Eventually, my mom, dad, and brother moved back to our old "hometown" three hours away. I stayed put. Then my brother found the love of his life, got married and wisely decided that Beau would continue to live with our mom and dad. Beau lived with Mom and Dad for about a decade. He relocated with them.

It's kind of a Marley and Me moment, I guess. I could go on and on about all the times that Beau comforted us, the trouble he got into, the few mishaps he endured because of us, the joy he brought into our lives, what a pain in the ass he could be at times because he was constantly trying to herd us around and be the alpha male, and how good he felt when we laid down together for a nap. I could go on and on about his smile, his bark, his prance, the way he always seemed to be at the door before I arrived for a visit, and how he saved my sanity numerous times by taking off with me on a walk to the lake or just in the neighborhood. I could go on and on, but honestly; it just hurts a bit too much right now.

I'm feeling very selfish. I just can't stop thinking that he's never going to greet me again when I show up for a visit. He's never going to the lake with me again. I'll never see his prance while we're on a walk. He won't lay down beside me and fall asleep with my arms around him ... and ... If I'm feeling this bad, just imagine how badly my mom, dad, brother and sister-in-law are feeling because they saw him every day.

If I had occasional thoughts that he was my favorite family member, imagine how many times Mom, Dad, my brother and his wife may have had a few of the same thoughts and feelings about Beau. Humans and Family can be difficult at times, and Beau was just so damn smiley and bouncy. How did he make everyone feel so special all the time? Beau represented his canine brothers and sisters very well. He represented all pets very well. I wish more humans were like Beau. I bet I'm not alone in my thinking.

It doesn't get any easier to say good-bye, so I'm going to keep you alive through stories and memories. Dammit, Beau, the timing on this one really sucks. Who the hell am I supposed to talk to about this one? You know what? It will be OK. I'll just pretend that I'm you and listen to the people who saw you every day because they may just need someone to listen to them like you used to. I don't know if they'll turn to me, but if they do; I'm at the ready just like you always were. If you don't mind, I might bother you from time to time with a few thoughts of my own, just like I would even if I wasn't visiting. I used to think about you a lot, you know. You sure were a good friend, Sir. So when you see Kamir, Crystal, Zoe, Theo, Harley, Bogie, and Milo please give them one of your more radiant smiles and enjoy their company. You are in good company. Our family has been blessed by great animals. You're all the best of the best in my book. I'll do my best to not miss you too much and think of all our happy times. I'll tell Big Girl and Little One some stories about you. They like stories.

Rest in Peace, Beau.