Oh No! Peter Max....

I can feel it coming on. I've got some sort of bug brewing. Figures. My warp drive life has finally afforded me a weekend to myself, and I am going down. Figures. Work, work, work - collapse when all is a bit better. sigh

Well, I guess it's not all bad. At least I don't have anyone depending on me for anything for a few days and the house is pretty clean. There's food in the house, including chicken soup, too.

sigh. I had feeling something coming on. The little scratch in my throat. The aches and pains that slowly build. The interchanging sweats and chills that grow as my temp rises. My blurry vision and eye pain. The cough that keeps getting stronger and more frequent. The tears that come no matter how much I try to stop them. sigh.

Guess I'm headed back to bed to ride it out. Water and rest. :P

All the laundry in the house is done. Can't remember the last time I had all the laundry in the house done at one time. The kitchen, living room, office, bedrooms and bathroom are about 90% clean. It's been a while on that one, too.

OK, this sick baby is going away. I really am a baby when I'm sick. I feel so alone when I'm sick. All those memories of the times spent in the hospital as a child and being a single mom for so many years. You know? There hasn't been anyone to take care of me when I'm sick (or well, for that matter) in over two decades. I really didn't think my life would turn out this way. See what I mean about being a baby and sitting on my pity pot? I'm pathetic when I don't feel good.

What I would give for someone who loves me to give me a gentle touch and tell me that everything is going to be OK. People would say that if I wanted it badly enough that I would go out and find it. As we say in Chicago, "I've been busy." I have been busy raising my children and helping people. Haven't ever found the right combination of qualities in any of the men around here.

I've long suspected that I don't fit in, and it seems to be proven more and more every day that I'm here. Just for the record, I don't fit in in my hometown, either, so don't even go there. I don't know where I fit in. I'd like to think Europe somewhere, but who knows.

It doesn't matter anyway. My children and grandchildren are here. I want to be close to them because I love them more than anyone else in the world. It's been proven to me that being unjustly separated from them is the second most painful experience I've ever gone through. I can't tell you the pain I battle every day. Supercilious people are the bane of my existence. So are mean, ignorant people.

I'm going back to bed with a couple of notebooks and my crochet project. Nothing like crocheting a present for someone to hammer home "everything." The Beatles "Yellow Submarine" notebooks that I got on extreme sale will be fun to write in. I am doing more and more private writing these days.

OH! ... and once upon a time I had the opportunity to interview Peter Max, the artist that "The Yellow Submarine" animations were based on. You do know Peter Max, right? Well, in any case, I asked him if he had any advise for aspiring artists. He said, "Draw every day. Practice your craft every day." He was a very charming man with the softest hands I've ever felt. We shook hands.

OK, on that inspiring note, I will now go find something wonderful about being sick and living my life. I am grateful and know that, in a little bit, my strength will return. See, taking care of myself for all of these years means that I know how to go through the various stages and pull myself up. I do hate feeling funky though - unless there's dance involved somehow. :D