11/11 - Veteran's Day

Woke up this morning thinking about one of my grandpas. Technically speaking, I have four grandpas. The one I was thinking about was a stellar man. He remains an inspiration.

In any case, I woke up with a vivid memory of my grandmother receiving a flag at his funeral and couldn't figure out why. I called Dad and found out that my grandpa was a veteran. I never knew this before. I'd always thought that he didn't serve during WWII. Silly me.

I've tried for the last hour to find out something about his Military Record on-line, but have failed. I did find out his date of birth and confirmed the date he died. My aunt had told me that he died on her thirtieth birthday.

Dad thinks that his step-dad, my grandpa, served in Italy. He's pretty sure of it. I may have to do some research on this one. I'm sure that there's a way to obtain his Military Records; at least what branch he served in and such.

I can't begin to tell you what a wonderful grandpa he was. He's the one who taught me about Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle when I was around six or seven. He always had a place for me on his lap. He always had time for me. He was kind and gentle and wise. He worked for Hamm's Beer as a truck driver for many years, and as a result, most of the family received some sort of Hamm's Beer gift at one time or another.

I was gifted with a Hamm's Beer, stuffed bear that had a radio inside. It was about two feet tall and sat up. It's arms formed a circle that were perfect for putting around my neck. I'd walk around with the bear hanging on me listening to the radio. Being a child and seeing as this was a toy, I loved it to death. I think it finally died in "The Great Flood" that filled our basement when I was in my early teens. I lost the pink poodle that my aunt gave me in that flood, too. It was a tragic event.

I still have three things from my grandpa; a Kennedy, velvet wall hanging that hung in the basement guest room along with many Hamm's Beer signs and two milk glass coffee cups with pheasants on them. I have been meaning to get the wall hanging framed for years. It is still in very good condition. I still use the coffee cups. Sometimes I put votives inside them. They have such a warm, loving glow when they are used as candle holders.

It's not the things that are important, though. My grandpa left me with a way to behave and approach life. It's hard to explain how simple, thoughtful, kind integrity can have such an impact on someone. When I am down or troubled, I often think of my grandpa and how he would've handled the situation. If I am lucky and behave as I imagine he would the results are at least calming and reassuring. I may not receive the results that I am looking for, but at least I know that I've acted in a manner befitting my ancestry. This alone makes me happy and proud. It inspires me to continue to behave in the same manner in the future.

I've heard many stories from my dad and grandma about my grandpa. One of the stories I heard was that my grandpa and grandma only had one really big fight. The reason for this is because my grandpa told my grandma that he would never have another fight like that one again, and they didn't. I can just see him quietly telling her this in a firm voice. What a relief to know that a nice man can set a standard in such a respectful way. What a relief to know that as a couple, my grandparents decided to live their lives together in peace.

I am lucky to have had the grandparents that I have. I use the present tense because while they have all passed, they live on in me. It's taken me many years to mature enough to begin to embody their fine qualities, and I am grateful that I am embarking on what I consider to be my finest adventure: being nice, yet firm. I have excellent teachers, and I strive to make them proud.

So today, I honor two grandfathers who were veterans. I may discover that another grandfather or two were veterans, but for today; I will remember my wonderful grandpa who not only fought for his country but also saved one side of my family, and my unknown grandpa who wasn't as lucky in his lifetime and died, in part, due to his involvement in WWII.

I will remember that being human means that we succeed and fail; and that, lessons are learned in both instances. It's just so much nicer to learn lessons from people who have succeeded than from those who have failed. There is an uplifting emotional charge as opposed to the downward turn that my emotions take.

It's just sad sometimes, but then again, I have to remind myself that my unknown grandpa probably wouldn't want me to be sad. I imagine that he would want me to really go for the brass ring he missed. He was an incredible artist.

I've seen his drawings in letters from the Pacific to my father. They are filled with funny cartoons and perfect print for young son to remember him by.

I am continually surprised that BB's drawing style is so similar to my grandpa's drawing style. I am especially surprised because to the best of my knowledge, BB has never seen the drawings.

I put them in a scrapbook for my dad many Christmases ago, but now the scrapbook is missing. I look for it every time I go back to see my parents, but I haven't found it yet. I haven't given up hope, though.

So today, I'm putting one aspect of my life in perspective. I've always said that I didn't want to make a living as an artist primarily because of my biological grandfather's tragic demise. It was scary to think of all the artists who have had less than desirable lives and deaths because of their excesses. It's even scarier to have a real life example in my own family. It's enough to turn away from such a life. Now that I have matured I have refined my thinking. I'll take the artistic part and leave the excesses.

This is the lesson I was missing. This is the lesson my life-saving grandpa showed me in his simple, kind way because he was also artistic. He worked with wood and had an occasional beer. He did smoke quite a bit and died of lung cancer, so I'll work on that one, too. Still, he was artistic and seemed to have a handle of being a family man and creating wonderful things with wood. He had it in perspective.

This decision will integrate my familial experience with both of my paternal grandpas. With my new life choice, I can continue to be the person that I am meant to be while being a credit to my ancestors; the "good" and the "bad" alike. I can put conflict to rest in one area of my life by taking action. It will still remain scary, but I'm not facing bullets, now am I.

Here's to the many veterans who gave their lives in just and unjust wars whether they died in the ditches and battlefields or after they returned home. May we continue to learn from all of them; so that, we can create a world without war. May we remember the human toll that war takes on all of us.

Let us also take action to help our veterans and their families as more soldiers return from war and more die. We have lots of work to do as a nation to insure that future generations live the fullest life possible. We have a lot of work to do to insure that civilians and veterans live a good life.

Remember, war can be loosely defined to include many tragedies that occur all across the USA every day. While we specifically remember veterans of war today, let us not forget the toll that violence takes on us all. There are people living in the USA who experience more PTSD than people living in Baghdad. I would like to see our country make a commitment to "being nice, yet firm." We have generations of violence and abuse to undo.

If we are willing to send men and women off to foreign countries to fight for our freedom, let's give up the freedom to commit violent acts; be they subtle or overt. If our soldiers are doing their part for us, let's do our part for them and commit to creating a country worth fighting for. If our soldiers are willing to give their lives, let's be willing to give our lives, too.

We all need to work together to find the solutions to the challenges that face us. The fighting must stop, and we must focus on what is more important; our survival as a nation. We need to focus on making sure that people have enough to eat, somewhere safe to sleep, health care services that truly incorporate all aspects of an individual's health, and a job for everyone that is capable of working. Our seniors deserve to be cared for as do those with disabilities. We have a lot of figuring to do, and it's time we really get to work and make even more sacrifices; so that, we all can lead the best lives possible. We need to focus on solutions and compromise. We need to reach a detente and move forward; so that, when our loved ones return from Hell we can provide a bit of Heaven on Earth. I have confidence that if we set our minds to it, we can survive every kind of war imaginable and prevent future wars from happening. All of us need to remember that ...

United we stand. Divided we fall.

I love you, Grandpas! Rest in Peace. You live on in me and mine. A truce has been called, and I am no longer at war with myself because I honor both of you. Your lives were not lived in vain. Your love and lessons live on in so many. We'll take all the good, learn from the bad, and commit to creating a better world for everyone. Lofty goals can be achieved through hard-work, persistence and commitment in the name of love. ... and yes, artists can and do make a difference.