My Plan

The time is set. My day is scheduled. There is a plan in place. If I follow the plan, I will get my homework done for Monday and get a good start on what is needed for Wednesday. I will also do at least two good deeds.

The weakest part of the plan surrounds housework. The thought of it tires me. My body slumps, but grows tense all at the same time. I push back a bit from my keyboard. Ah, the signs of resistance. I think I may need therapy on this one, again. It really is silly.

So anyway, if all goes according to plan, I will have done a good chunk of my homework, helped someone I love, and cleaned up our house a bit.

Better throw in some healthy eating there somewhere, I guess. I had fish, couscous, green beans and corn last night. I love fish and veggies. The couscous was OK, too.

Today, I will focus on accomplishing my goals according to a prescribed, pretty well thought out plan. I am practicing for Thursday, November 18th.

On Thursday, November 18, 2010, the American Cancer Society is again sponsoring the Great American Smokeout. I am going to do it this year and see where it takes me. I have been doing bits of planning based on research for a couple of months now.

I've found AA meetings that are smoke-free. I don't consider myself an alcoholic, but meetings are used by many to quit drugs, too; so I'm going to use these meetings to quit cigarettes. I was surprised when I found an organization that has smoke-free AA meetings. The one thing that I've found with AA meetings is that most people smoke. Not exactly the atmosphere to tackle my particular addiction. Kinda like having an AA meeting in a bar. So having found this location so very close to my home, I'm going to do the 90 in 90 thing. That's what they advise alcoholics and addicts to do when they are first quitting; 90 meetings in 90 days.

Today I will stock the house with yummy good food. Veggies, fruit and fish. If I'm not smoking, I can afford fish. Fish is my favorite protein. I will also stock string cheese, almonds and sugar-free jello. I will have to stay away from chocolate because my addiction to chocolate is just as bad, if not worse, than my addiction to cigarettes. I have tons of herbal tea, too. Caffeine does not help me quit smoking.

Tomorrow, I will continue to enjoy my coffee and cigarettes. The next day will be the same. I will probably run out of cigarettes on Tuesday and am still deciding if I'll go ahead and quit on Wednesday or buy another pack and quit on Thursday.

Today, tomorrow, Tuesday, and Wednesday I will consider buying the patch. It worked well before; even though, I didn't use it according to the instructions. This is probably why I developed rashes and had wild dreams. The patch is to be taken off at night. I am a tricky, sick addict who has sabotaged my quitting in the past. I take responsibility for my actions and will not repeat them this time.

There will be no grace period of eating whatever I wish while I quit smoking. This is how I have gained so much weight. It is directly linked to the many times that I have quit smoking and started back up again. At least this time, I will not repeat the mistake of indulging my pouting child with sweets.

I will also use the computer for job searches, homework, and writing this blog. I may or may not play Sudoku and Cubis. We'll see. The bottom line is that I will use the computer as a tool and not as a distraction.

Then there will be the exercise. Honestly haven't wrapped my brain around that one, yet; so I'll be formalizing a plan in the coming days.

So there are a few of my plans for the week. I have stated them without going into a total panic attack. Now I will leave and fill my brain with other thoughts.