What a Rush!

My intention is to make this brief because I have much to do and less and less time to do it in. It is time for lists. Lots of lists for myself and for those I love. Goodness.

My morning has been filled with a fluffy of phone calls. So many people to call to gather information from just so I can leave town for a few days. That's all just fine by me. It does bring home the fact that I live a very interconnected life and like it that way. I'm happy to report that almost all the necessary information has been gathered, schedules made and everyone I love understands and will be just fine.

Besides phone calls, emails and Facebook communiques have proven to be very helpful. We live in an amazing age.

I imagine my posts will be brief for the next few days. I have so much to do at school and to get ready to leave. Once I've left, I plan on enjoying the company of my family and friends. It's been a long time since I was last in my hometown, so this trip, while short and intense, will provide an opportunity to reconnect with so many while doing what I can to lend some support.

One of my conversations today involved that age old truism about tragedies bringing families together, sometimes for the first time in years. It's a bittersweet reality that we humans live with. The more I think about funerals and their importance the more I've come to the conclusion that they are very important for the living. It is a time to gather together to remember and hopefully build and strengthen relationships. I even think it is just the thing that the dearly departed would want.

Coming together in through tragedy also brings forward the fact that sometimes it's just not about me or us or you; it's about them. Focusing on doing the right thing for the sake of someone who is hurting far worse than you are, or I am; makes the doing more poignant and hopefully provides the motivation and strength necessary to get through personal fears, quirks, and whatever else may crop up as a result of the shock of the tragic event. My focus is on our friend's wife, children and family along with visiting with my own family however briefly. Certainly, I want to have a bit of time for myself to get together with people that I haven't seen in years, and I hope that will happen. If things are too chaotic, though ... well, I plan on going with the flow.

One important thing to note about today: I have put to rest the whole subject that caused my universe to shift last week. It is done. I have gone through the entire process, made my decision, accepted my humanity, informed my loved ones of my process and decisions and can now move forward more freely with nothing hanging over my head. INHALE & SIGH. As always, I am eternally grateful to my children and the many professionals who continue to help us all.

NOTE: I am human. Sometimes my reactions to events surprise me, and I criticize myself harshly for not reacting in the "right" way right away. I also talk too much when I am nervous and scared. My self-confidence can easily be shattered by the wrong people at the wrong time. I am getting a bit better every day. An important part of repairing my shattered self-image is accepting my mistakes and short-comings while acknowledging my accomplishments; both past and present. This latest shift in the universe has taught me many, many, very, very, good things. I plan on using all of them for a much better future. Thank God for all the support and understanding I received. I will be grateful for the rest of my life.

OK, I must now stop procrastinating and nursing my agitated nerves and sorrowful soul. It is time to step away from the computer and my Internet family. It is time to do - many, many things.